Do the shuffle.

We Will Become Silhouettes – The Postal Service
Painted by Numbers – The Sounds
My Desire – Moke
Shakin’ All Over – Rose Hill Drive
You Could Have It – Franz Ferdinand
In My Place – Coldplay
What I Can Do For You – Sheryl Crow
Burning Man – Third Eye Blind
Johnny B. Goode – Chuck Berry
She Is – The Fray

And for you Transformers fans.

today..

i don't feel very well and our chancellor (also known as the big guy with the big office) announced his resignation. things are going to be a bit crazy around here. it could either be a good adventure or a really bad one. such as life i suppose.

Random email from my mother.

Problem with a neighbor? Try this.

RIP Eddie

R.I.P., "Frasier" Eddie
By Sarah Hall
55 minutes ago

It may have been a dog's life, but Moose, the Jack Russell terrier of Frasier fame, wasn't one to complain.

Kelsey Grammer's canine sidekick, known as Eddie on the long-running show, died Thursday at the ripe old age of 16 and a half, his trainer, Mathilde Halberg told People magazine. more

Mondays...errr...

What's the last movie you saw and what did you think?

I actually saw two movies this weekend so I will mention both.

Born into Brothels - I really enjoyed this academy award winning documentary about children in the red light district in Calcutta. Basically a photojournalist lives in the district and gives the children cameras and teaches them about photography. It chronicles their photography and their struggles to get out of the district. Two things struck me. One, these kids at their young age knew that the path they were on would be bad in the end. They didn't want to live the life their parents lived and knew the way out was an education. But the class system limited their options. It was just interesting to me that despite their limited view of the world - only knowing poverty and filth - they knew that there was more. Second, I was moved by their teacher (Zana) who was willing to give so much of herself and her resources to help these kids. She wasn't with an organization, she wasn't promoting an agenda - she just wanted to teach them and offer them something to be proud of. She was very inspiring to me.

The Prarie Home Companion - Honestly, I went into this movie with no expectations. I've always heard of Garrison Keilor and the Prarie Home Companion and I have a friend who is a big fan. So I thought I should check it out. Yeah, it was ok. Maybe a little more background info would have been helpful. The cowboys (Woody Harrelson and John C. Reilly) were really funny. And I've recently discovered that I really like Meryl Streep - I realize she is sort of a legend and all but I loved her in this movie. Lindsay, well she just annoys me. I do find the culture and attitude of that region - Midwest - Minnesota is that the Midwest? - to be very interesting. They are just odd - I think it's the neverending cold.

The countdown has begun...

Literally, this week has lasted forever. 40 long boring hours in a tan/blue cubicle are finally coming to an end is approximately 88 minutes. Please hurry.

I don’t have much going on this weekend. Actually I currently have nothing planned. I have some ideas of ways to entertain myself but no where to be at a certain time. I will be in my bed until about 10am tomorrow morning though – I have planned that much.

I will also be watching some DVDs. A couple of weeks ago I signed up for NetFlix (again). You see I had two reasons. One, E is traveling a lot right now so I figured having some entertainment other than the 10 channels on my TV would be a good thing. Second, Sex and the City. The local UPN channel has been showing SATC at 10:00pm for about the last six months and I’ve become quite the fan. Two problems have arisen out of my addiction. One, they also aired them at midnight so I only saw every other episode – leaving out very important elements. Two, they recently moved the airtime to midnight and 12:30 so I never see any of them. Stink. So in order to find out what the real story is on Carrie and Mr. Big I needed to watch them all – straight through. Hence, my need for Netflix. I’ve also been watching the first season of Grey’s Anatomy. Somehow over the last few months I’ve become a TV addict and now I’m becoming a TV/DVD addict.

But tonight I think I will watch Born into Brothels – see I’m also trying to be a little educated and cultural.

Speaking of TV, last night I couldn’t sleep and watched the late night re-run of Oprah. The show was about identical female twins where one of the twins had decided to become a male. In both stories that I saw each of the women who became men spent all of their life feeling like they were the wrong gender. It was interesting because the stories brought up the discussion about homosexuality being a genetic issue. In this case these are identical twins with identical DNA. Therefore, the idea that one would be gay and not the other creates a kink in the idea that being gay comes down to a genetic issue. It was really interesting to me. Not because I think one way or the other – but that it just creates more questions. An expert explained that it is possible for these twins to be identical in genetic make-up but for their development in the womb to be different. For example, one fetus might get more blood flow, more nutrients or exposed to something that the other isn’t. So it is possible for their environment in the womb to create differences in them.

Which seems kind of weird but I have a story that made me see some logic in this thought. When I was a baby, my baby teeth had no enamel. Therefore, I had lots of cavities early on and had to have dental work done when I was two. I told a dentist about this once and she said stuff like that is not uncommon. She said that often if a mother is sick or has a stressful time during pregnancy it can effect the baby’s development.

I don’t really know what all this means but it creates more unknown in an area that people often think is very black and white.

67 minutes...

WOO HOO! It's Friday!

I am always amazed at my odd mixture of music.

It’s Alright – The Redwalls
Total Eclipse of the Heart – Bonnie Tyler
We’ll Be Here – Goo Goo Dolls
Cheating on You – Franz Ferdinand
De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da – The Police
Don’t Stop ‘til You Get Enough – Michael Jackson
So Long Frank Lloyd Wright – Simon and Garfunkel
English Tea – Paul McCartney
Just Try – Starflyer 59
Golden Rule - Embodyment

Back again...

Today is rainy but at least it is Thursday. Thank goodness that my fun co-workers are coming back soon. It has been a really long week.

Also, after my ranting last night I decided to try and get back on the healthy, rational food eating wagon. Today hasn’t been bad so far…wish me luck.

On another note I was talking to a friend yesterday about dysfunctional family stuff. The conversation started with my story about my road trip with my father and grandmother. We covered the basics of how I was looking for some closure, he doesn’t even try to be my father and would it really matter, and why some parents are able to emotionally walk away from their children.

The conversation then moved onto the children (my friend and I) coming to terms with the fact that our fathers did the best they could. Is it possible to find some sort of closure in that and realize that it is not our fault? Which led me to ask the question – why do kids always blame themselves for things that happen with parents?

For example, my father chooses to not to be a part of my life – there must be something wrong with me. Or my mother died – I must have been bad. Or my parents got divorced – I somehow am to blame for this. Children then carry these feelings into adulthood and always feel as if they aren’t good enough.

My friend felt that this emotion comes from a narcissistic attitude - that children are especially narcissistic. She is a self proclaimed narcissist so I don’t know if I agree with her. I’m also curious if girls feel this way more than boys. And is it possible that as children our identities are so wrapped up in our parents that everything about us is directly related to them. We have nothing else to base our worth on.

Just some ponderings from my dysfunctional brain…

I think you've missed your prime...

Feldman And Haim To Pitch "The Coreys" To TV
June 21, 2006 7:45 p.m. EST

Los Angeles, CA (AHN) - 1980's teen movie stars, Corey Feldman and Corey Haim, will get together again for a comedy series on television.

According to Daily Variety, although Feldman and Haim are best known collectively as "The Two Coreys," their new TV venture simply would be called The Coreys.

According to E! News, the Coreys would find the Coreys playing fictionalized versions of themselves, presumably because it would be funnier and less sad that way. Feldman would play Corey Feldman, married father of one son; Haim would play Corey Haim, single man. While both play those roles in real life, too, the TV show would ratchet up the comedy in the situation by having Haim, as Variety put it, "[shake] life up for the Feldmans."

just a warning...

warning: i am really wound-up today so this will likely be an overly emotional, roller coaster of a post. so if pms, intense whining and fat talk annoy you...just stop now. seriously.

i'm going to gain weight and likely have already started the process. i am out of control and have been for a couple of months. but the last couple of weeks have started to scare me. when i say out of control, i don't mean an extra cookie here or a big pile of french fries there. i mean that i've stopped caring enough to try (ie. i ate a cheeseburger three days in a row last week). i'm beating myself up and giving myself the little speech but i've stopped listening to it. and i don't know why. i'm feeling ok, not in a big funk and i'm proud of size. but yet, i'm sabotaging it. and i don't know why.

i think i've been trying to find some sort of balance. but i don't know if that's possible. i cringe at the thought of thinking about every piece of food that i put in my mouth for the rest of my life but i think i'm going to have to. i want to be the person that stops when they are full, that has a good happy balance and doesn't stress about food all the time. but again, i dont' think that is possible for me. i just keep thinking of the hard work that it took to get me where i am. the years of feeling the way i do right now...being out of control. it is a horrible, horrible feeling in my gut that just makes me want to crawl in a hole. you would think that feeling alone would make me not eat the donut (or at least donuts) in the morning.

but i am proud to say that i enrolled in my swim class. and i'm sad to admit that i am a little embarrased. i hope there are other adults in this class because i feel a little slow taking it now. the age is 14 and older and i have this fear that i am going to walk in and there will be five 14-year old boys in the class. hmmmm.

i have realized though, despite my many complaints while doing it, that i miss running. i miss the accomplishment feeling that i get. i miss the good workout. i've been trying to let my back issue heal itself and it's feeling a lot better. but i'm still a little afraid to run when it's so testy. so i guess i should avoid for now. maybe swimming will be something i enjoy.

i've also enrolled in a class for the fall. i'm taking drawing I at OCCC. yep, a drawing class. i am the beginning student. both of these are classes i should have taken when i was 8! anyway, i've been tossing around the idea in my head of trying to learn more graphic design stuff so maybe i could slowly move my career in that direction. A has also let me start working with her some, which is fantastic practice. drawing I, how does that apply to the current topic, you ask. well, you see i have a decent eye for layout and have decent experience with programs. but i know that i lack some serious creative/artistic skills. i'm creative in certain ways but i have a hard time being bold and adventurous with color and layout elements. so i'm thinking that some good old fashioned art classes might help me be able to express more creative elements. i would also like to take a design and color class. but most importantly, i'm sort of bored with my life right now and a class is a pretty easy way to shake some things up and entertain myself.

i know that there are lots of you (at least five) creative types - give me your thoughts on my plan. can i learn to be more artistic? do you just have to dive in and start practicing?

and lastly, you may remember that i signed up to be in a postcard swap. i sent my postcards out last week and i received my first postcard this week - all the way from south africa - isn't that fun. i love the internet. my postcard pal lives at here.

i'm off to walk my dog...

Are they trying to freak me out?

Bird flu could close military cemeteries
By ANDREW BRIDGES, Associated Press Writer 20 minutes ago

Families of veterans who die during a bird flu outbreak shouldn't count on burying their loved ones in any of the 120 national cemeteries. The Department of Veterans Affairs foresees closing the military graveyards in a pandemic because of staffing problems.

The VA buries more than 250 veterans and eligible family members a day — about 93,000 a year. It operates cemeteries in 39 states and Puerto Rico.

Those burials could stop or be put on hold during a pandemic, presumably even as the tally of dead surges, according to a VA plan that lays out how it will cope with an influenza outbreak. The government is preparing for a worst-case scenario of nearly 2 million deaths in the United States in a pandemic.

The VA would continue treating veterans at its 150-plus hospitals and hundreds of smaller clinics. It also would provide back-up care to active duty military, as well as non-veterans if necessary, according to the plan posted on the department's Web site.

As for the dead, the VA said it may have to store bodies in refrigerated warehouses or trucks outfitted as temporary morgues.

If forced to close cemeteries because of staffing shortages or other reasons, the plan calls for VA employees to reroute phones and contact funeral homes and the next-of-kin to "reschedule" burials.

As much as 40 percent of the national work force could be off the job in a pandemic, according to federal estimates.

"They're raising a common concern: Where are the workers going to come from?" said Robert Fells, external chief operating officer and general counsel for the International Cemetery and Funeral Association.

During the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic, the dead were sometimes buried in trenches, Fells said. Should another pandemic strike, it could take days to bury the dead, and perhaps only then in mass or temporary graves, he added.

"Will that be necessary? It may be and we have to be prepared if things get that bad," Fells said.
The VA acknowledges cemeteries will have to plan ways of allocating staff and plots for "significant numbers of burials if closure and rescheduling is not an adequate response," according to the plan.

"If there's truly a catastrophic kind of thing — whether it be a bird flu pandemic or a massive, terrorist-instigated attack that would claim tens or hundreds of thousands of lives — a lot of that frankly involves bulldozers," said Mike Duggan, the American Legion's deputy director for national security and a Vietnam veteran.

The VA did not immediately return two calls seeking comment.

Bird flu has killed at least 128 people worldwide since it started ravaging Asian poultry farms in late 2003.

Scientists fear the H5N1 virus will mutate into a highly contagious form that can be passed from human to human. So far, most human cases have been linked to infected birds.

***********************

And I also read about this crazy fault line that could eventually cause horribly destructive earthquakes in a part of the country where nothing is built for earthquakes. Wouldn't that be fun.

Miss Cranky Pants

Yep. That's me. For some reason in about five minutes this morning I went from a decent mood to seriously cranky. A little hormone action, maybe some stress and possibly spending all day (plus the next 3 days) in my cube minus any of my fun co-workers. Sigh. Now I am eating Sonic.

I had a good weekend. Friday, E and I went out. We ate at a new hamburger place in Edmond called Wiggies Burger Shack. They had some write-ups in the Gazette. Wiggies was ok but not worth the cost and drive to Edmond. Too bad...I doubt Wiggies will be around long. Then we went and saw Cars. A cute little movie except I kept staring at the car's mouths moving. It sort of creeped me out. And the movie was an interesting, somewhat bold commentary on the death of small towns.

Saturday, I had lunch with my sister. That evening I went to my co-worker/friend Amy's wedding. A big congratulations to Amy and Cory. It was a good time and I would give it 5 stars. The ceremony was short and sweet (literally like 7.5 minutes long). Limited amounts of sappy hokey music. The food was tasty. And most importantly the pieces of wedding cake were huge. None of those wee, little don't serve too much, too soon pieces. The only negative was the flaky DJ that didn't show up. Once I get the lowdown and his name - I will spread bad things about him in blog world!

Today after work I'm going to sign-up for my swim class and I'm super excited. Maybe swimming will get me out of this exercise slump I'm in. We will see.

A little commercial to pass some time.

The Monday Morning Question

Would you rather… sleep on a bed of peanut butter OR next to a humidifier full of urine?

Screech is still a dork.

I don't know a lot about the mortgage business but I think that foreclosure only happens when you don't pay your payment. So here is some advice for Screech - 1. Sale the big ole $250,000 home (you live in Wisconsin so I'm thinking that's a big house for skinney ole you). 2. Give up comedy and get a job like me.

Sorry, I have no idea why I thought you needed to know this...

'Screech' Hopes to Be Saved by the T-ShirtSaturday J
une 17 9:15 AM ET
Yahoo

More than a bell is needed to save Dustin Diamond this time around. Diamond, best known as geeky Screech Powers on the 1989-1993 teen comedy series "Saved by the Bell," is selling T-shirts with his photo on them to try to raise $250,000 so he doesn't lose his gray two-story house under a foreclosure order.

"If the public didn't care, I as an entertainer wouldn't have been a success," he said.
Diamond, 29, is trying to sell nearly 30,000 shirts at $15 or $20 (autographed) each to supplement the income he makes as a standup comic so he doesn't have to move from his Port Washington home, about 25 miles north of Milwaukee.

The T-shirt has a photo of Diamond holding a sign that says, "Save My House." The back of the shirt reads, "I paid $15.00 to save Screeech's house." The third "e" was added to get around copyright laws, he said.

He's selling the shirts on his Web site: http://www.getdshirts.com.

The foreclosure order was filed last month in Ozaukee County Circuit Court.

Diamond appeared on Howard Stern's satellite radio show Tuesday to plead his case. "I'm doing great with my comedy, but this is definitely a low point," he said. "Real life comes in and affects you."

Diamond doesn't have a listed phone number, and e-mails to the address on his Web site and at an alternative address were not immediately returned Thursday.

Some Friday randomness for you...

Pusherman – Fono
Anna Begins – Counting Crows
Ruby Blue – Roisin Murphy
All Along the Watchtower – U2
Neon Wilderness – The Verve
Only Got One – Frou Frou
You’re Wonderful – Bon Voyage
Burnin’ For You – Blue Oyster Cult
Black Balloon – Goo Goo Dolls
Walking on Sunshine – Katrina and the Waves

I'm not going to the poor house...

The state legislature finally agreed to a budget today so the state of OK is not going to come to a screaching halt come July 1. Whew. All I have to say is that politicians are not my friends. I stumbbled into this job being completely unaware of how upclose and personal I would have to be to state politics. And honestly all of the political games (on many levels) will probably be the leading thing to drive me out of state business. I'm all for voting and being aware but the misdirected motives are very disheartening to little ole' me.

I am super tired tonight. E played a show last night and I just haven't slept well all week. I'm not feeling so well either, I have that teetering on the edge of sickess feeling in my throat. Fingers crossed because I don't want a cold because colds double suck when it's 100 degrees outside.

I was planning on going to the small church group tonight but opted to not because I'm tired. And honestly it wasn't such a big deal not to go. E is working and so I was going to go alone again. And let me say something - meeting new people, trying to fit in, searching for God and finding a church home without your spouse is rather difficult. I thought I could do it - and I know that I need some sort of support system but I just don't think I can. Despite my glowing, confident attitude, I'm fairly introverted and would feel more comfortable sitting at home in a depressive state than trying to meet new Christian friends. And Christian friends that are very different than me.

I want to be the strong female that can be alone and be social and be cool with it but I'm going to have to eventually face that I'm not. And maybe that's ok.

And I'm only going to say three things about Britney.
1. Where is your stylist? Bring him or her back.
2. Go home to Louisiana. The paparazzi won't follow you.
3. Stop talking. You are only making it worse on all of us.

Random emails from my mother...

I don't know about your mom but my mom is always sending me some random forwarded email. I delete most of them but every once in awhile I decided to actually read them. I especially love to research them to see if there is any validity to them and then respond to my mother with the results. It's especially fun when her propoganda is completely conservative and then I come back with a crazy liberal, non-Baptist response. She loves that...

Here is an email from today -

No Crosses on Federal Property!
Did you see in the news last week where the A.C.L.U. doesn't want any crosses on Federal property? Crosses on Federal Property?
Well duh.........
















Let them try and remove these. What are these people thinking? At what point do we say, enough is enough?

Please pass this on to as many people possible as quickly as you can even if you normally don't do this type of thing. Some messages just need to be forwarded and this is most certainly one of them. Please take the time.

Does this count as me passing on spam? If so, sorry.

I heart The Lunch Box!

The best mashed potatoes in town. Yummmmy.

Pop-tarts!

That's how my day started. Actually that's not true. My day started when E woke me up at 7:50 and told me what time it was. Keep in mind that I ideally should be at work no later than 8:30. Sigh. And it happened to be a day that I had to dress fairly nice because I had a lunch meeting. So there was ironing and clothes to picked out (I thought about doing it last night but didn't listen to my gut - Why don't I listen to the gut?) Ahhhhh...I hate mornings like that because I always eat something crappy for breakfast and feel out of sorts all day long. All of this said, I ate Pop-tarts. Cherry Pop-tarts when my favorite are really the brown sugar flavor. A sad waste of Pop-tarts.

I mentioned yesterday that I bought some garage sale treasurers. Well here they are. Keep in mind that the table looks pretty rough in the bright light but I think it's super cool. I'm thinking I will paint it or something. And the other is a pin that was 10 cents. Do I wear pins or broaches - not really but I thought it was cute and it was a dime. Anyway, good happy times for me.

Since I am in a never-ending quest for food/fat knowledge I thought I would pass on a couple of things I've read lately.

• Less than 13% of American women are a size 6 or below.
• The book I've been reading "Overcoming Overeating" poses this "what if" question -What if it were to become impossible for you ever to gain or lose weight again. Not a pound. Your body will remain in its present shape for the rest of your life. What would you do? How would it impact the way you see yourself?
• More than half of Americans say they'd rather lose their jobs than get fat. 58% of women and 54% of men say they'd rather be unemployed than gain 75 pounds, according to a recent Fitness magazine poll. USA Today 4.30.06

No lesson for the day. I just thought they were interesting.

I've actually been doing a little bit of exercising. The last two days have been productive and tonight I'm doing a little yoga. I've realized that I need some sort of fitness goal to motivate me (ie. marathon) and since I've stopped running because of my back I'm feeling unmotivated. Sure I can walk but running makes me think I'm accomplishing so much more. So I've been thinking about options. I keep thinking about the water aerobics class and I've been pondering swimming laps. But I really don't know good swimming technique so I'm thinking about a swimming class, which seem sort of dumb because I can swim. But I'm pretty sure it's not the most athletic and efficient swimming stroke.

I'm sleepy. Must stop blogging.

when can i go back to bed?

E was out of town over the weekend and arrived home pretty late last night. I always have good intentions of going to bed early so I get a goodnight's sleep but generally I stay up for him. In turn I go to bed at 1:30am and get very little sleep and my body hates me. Right now it is nagging me with that dull aching pain in my arms and the electrical doo-dads that connect my brain together aren't quite functioning properly.

It was a decent weekend. Friday I went with the Richardson's to see Sex Machine (which sounds a lot like porn but isn't really at all) that was playing in the DeadCenter Film Festival here in OKC. Good time.

Saturday I decided to hit some garage sales. I love garage sales. Anyway, the first two I went to were fantastic - I found two pretty cool things but the rest - not so good. I will post pics of my purchases this evening.

But my point for visiting this morning really was to implement a new feature. Every Monday I'm going to post a random question or two - mostly to get me through the drabness of Monday mornings. Feel free to post an answer if you like.

1. Song you hate to love? Keith Urban, You'll Think of Me (Eeek. I hate country cross over songs but I always want to sing along and I feel sorry for the guy.)

2. Song you love to hate? James Blunt, You're Beautiful (I hate this song and would stab him if I could. He has the screachiest voice.)

It's time to wrap this up so I earn my keep.

ever wonder...

why you live where you do?




















i do. *












*sorry, it's the sunday night blues talking.

friday's ten

Seriously out of 1,000 songs this is what I get – I’m not sure my shuffler is working right.

Walk Away – Franz Ferdinand
Don’t Speak – Eagles of Death Metal
Black Horse and the Cherry Tree – KT Tunstall
Other Side of the World – KT Tunstall
Chase the Devil – Eagles of Death Metal
Life on a Chain – Pete Yorn
Helter Skelter – U2
It Overtakes Me – The Flaming Lips
Different Names for the Same Things – Death Cab For Cutie
No One Said it Would Be Easy – Sheryl Crow


I’m struggling this week - sometimes living in my mind is exhausting.

the countdown...

Many of you know and if you don’t - I work at a state agency of sorts. We are state mandated agency and are funded through the state. Well if you haven’t heard the Oklahoma Legislature hasn’t been able to agree on a budget and have entered into special session. The new fiscal year starts on July 1 and if they don’t agree on a budget by then – nobody has any money. Not my office, not the department of corrections and anyone else who gets money from the state. And with no money these agencies can’t run and therefore close their doors until the budget is passed (surely the prisons don’t close their doors – wonder what they do). Anyway, I’ve been told we will be furloughed if this happens.

And the funny thing is that it’s because of extra money. The state’s revenues were greater this year than ever and they can’t decide how to spend it. And most importantly, it’s an election year so all the state political players have some sort of demented motivation. My boss compared the legislature to junior high.

People keep telling me that it won’t happen but that there is a remote possibility. I’m not really freaked out yet. But I am a little caught up in the drama. So I’ve created my own countdown of "Days Until Shutdown of the State Government" (thanks to the Tulsa World for the idea).




I wanted something that was bit more dramatic instead of an orange vw and I couldn't find anything. So if you know of a dramatic countdown clock to add to my blog - let me know.

wednesday...oh how i love wednesday...

i don't know if you are familiar with design within reach but it is a company that sells expensive modern designer furniture and accesories. anyway, i found this site and it has a parody (if that's what you call it) of dwr. it made me smile. just click on the "design w/o reach" link to view.

happy wednesday.

just some stuff...

stuff #1

the current conversation in my head -

good me: you really need to go for a walk
bad me: but i'm tired
good me: but it would make you feel better and you really need the exercise
bad me: i'm busy though and i have lots of things to do
good me: seriously?
bad me: yes, i have buttons to make, dishes to wash and i need some rest. not to mention i ate a late dinner and you know how i hate to jiggle the food in my belly.
good me: i think those are just excuses
bad me: probably but i have to do my pm yoga later so that should count
good me: you suck
bad me: yep i do. what's the big deal? i'll exercise tomorrow

...and bad me will likely win the battle

stuff #2
i went to the dentist today. the funny thing about the dentist is - one dentist will tell you one thing and another won't. for example, 9 months ago i was told that i needed some work done soon, a horrible cavity was forming. i was broke and changing jobs so i blew it off. at my check-up today i was told that nothing really needed to be done. my crowns probably will need to be replaced but it's nothing that can't wait - we'll keep an eye on it. what? did the cavity disappear? who do you trust really? that's it - along with my doctor friend and ww leader friend i now need a dentist friend.

stuff #3
had a re-exam at the chiropractor today. he thinks i am improving and wants to see me less. thank goodness, i've been seeing the spikey hair man 2 times a week for 6 weeks now. i'm pretty happy with things right now. still have some pain but has improved significantly.

stuff #4
E is heading out of town this weekend and will be out a lot over the next couple of months. harass me every once in awhile and make sure i'm not in a super depressive state, sitting at home eating captain crunch.

stuff #5
some crazy stuff is about to take place in my workplace. some shakin' up. also only 24 days until the OK state government is going to shut down. no budget = no jobs. doesn't that sound fun?

stuff #6
my grandma freda at the beach - notice the pentecostal hair.















stuff #7
i am trying to rid myself of foods (or at least the ones I purchase) that contain high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated fats and enriched flour. holy moly. those things are in EVERYTHING.

stuff #8
i love this stuff

stuff #9
i've signed up for a postcard swap and i'm nervous - what should i send?

so long...

ok. as i started typing this post i was going to say something along these lines "i don't watch much tv but..." and i realized i used that line a few weeks ago and it's possible that i have a tv problem or at least like tv a lot more than i like to admit.

anyway, i for the last 4 years have a loved a little family drama on the wb called "everwood." sure it's a little cheesy and soap opera-esque but i love it, it makes me cry, it's poetic and now IT'S GONE. thanks to that stupid wb / upn merger "everwood" is gone. and you know what is taking it's free slot - a stupid little show called "7th heaven" that died a few weeks ago but they've (the big stupid guys) decided to bring it back. seriously..."7th heaven" is a horrible show.
sorry for the ramblings. tonight was the "everwood" series finale and i'm a little sad.

goodbye amy and ephram.

ok so now i'm coming back to the non-fiction world...here are my sad little curtains. the photo on the bottom is a close-up of the material. the material is really the reason i made them. i saw it awhile back when i was making more bags and hanging out at hancock fabrics a lot and i really liked it. but i've learned something about material - just because you like it and have grand plans for it, generally the grand plans never happen and you have a ton of fabric. anyway, i went to the store a few weeks ago and it was on sale. it reminds me of a shirt my grandpa would wear - sort of retro cowboy.

and lastly you might remember my church post from last week. well on thursday when we had our small group our pastor taught more about lectio and what it is, how to do it and what you can expect or should expect out of it. and it was very helpful. anyway, he mentioned that if you have a response from it, it is always helpful to talk to someone about it or journal or blog. so i mentioned to him that i had blogged about it and would like his reponse. i sent him the text (minus the link and comment about babies and hardwood floors) and he responded with some encouraging words. anyway, re-reading my comments along with his was actually very helpful and this is what i discovered.

• I realized that I was looking for something "hyper" spiritual to come out of the exercise. My guess is this can be blamed on my Baptist quiet times - where my whole spiritual existence was based on spending X number of minutes a day with the Bible and prayer.
• Also, the Psalm we were reading was pretty lovey dovey and by nature I am not one to be over sappy and full of praise. Praise to me is a much more quiet expression. I think it was just hard for me to relate to.
• And probably the most important thing I realized, I think that the root of all of these feelings is not that I think that the scripture is completely untrustable but probably that I'm just unhappy with God. And maybe I'm just trying to blame my issue on something that is a little easier to deal with. The last five years have been pretty rough spiritually and I think I'm just coming to terms with that - and I feel as if I need to trust and believe in God or stop trying because the middle sucks.

So yeah, I don't know what to do with that but I do feel a little better about things.

happy 6/6/06.

Sleepy afternoon...

Too bad I’m in my cube or else I would be napping. I need some caffeine. Someone told me this weekend that an apple has three times the amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee. I was unable to confirm this statement online but I did find out that when apple seeds are digested they release a small amount of cyanide. Hmmmh. Who knew?

I had a lovely weekend. Nothing too exciting really…Saturday E and I went to Ingrid’s Kitchen, the quaint little German Deli/Bakery. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t love it but wanted to do something a little different. The red cabbage and sauerkraut weren’t really to my liking but I found that German cookies are just as good as American ones. There was also a live band with dancing seniors. It was a nice outing.

Yesterday I sewed some super simple curtains for my kitchen I will try to post them later. I also painted a bit. And I did all of this with no TV or music. Quiet is so nice sometimes.

I’ve recognized that I’m off the wagon. The good eating/healthy/exercising wagon has left me behind. And I’m trying to catch up. My first task is to avoid any sort of fried/fast food and I’m convinced I’ve developed a re-addiction. Or I’ve told myself I can’t have it and therefore I crave it more. Either way, I’m trying to get my stuff back together. Tonight I will go for a walk.

I have some more material floating around in my head. I’m sure I’ll be back soon.

random 10

mmmm...very interesting.

De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da – The Police
Blue Suede Shoes – Carl Perkins
Let’s Grove – Earth, Wind and Fire
Burn – Fono
Tempted – Squeeze
Bullet the Blue Sky – U2
One Headlight – The Wallflowers
Under Heaven’s Skies – Collective Soul
My Cosmic Autumn Rebellion – The Flaming Lips
I Don’t Care – Willie Nelson

seriously...

how do the short work weeks become so long?

you might notice i have updated some links on the side. i added a few design-ish sites and a celebrity blog (i'm embarrased to say) i've become slightly addicted to. i'm pretty sure that blogging and blogs could lead to my demise. did you know that jenny mccarthy and jim carrey are dating? i know, i know i should be ashamed that i know this.

and i would like to tell you readers (i think there are about 9 of you now) that you are doing a fantabulous job of posting. i had about 5 comments today...possibly a new personal best.

and since you asked...no exercise today. i suck.

so most people know...

that i am a U2 fan. it's true. i think they write good songs with the ability to move me emotionally. which is my definition of a good song. anyway, what i am not is an r&b fan. i generally don't like the abundance of lalalas. so when i heard about the mary j. blige / u2 duet of "one" i was a bit skeptical. but i have to admit...i love it. i hear it and it moves me and makes me feel better regardless of what stinky mood i'm in. at about 2:30 i start bobbing my head and before you know i'm pretty close to a spiritual moment. i want to dance around and wave my hands in the air.



they just released a video and well i'm passing it along. mostly so i can watch it anytime i want.

today is thursday and that's a good thing. yesterday i ate like a big old moo cow. i had bourban st. with the girls from work and johnny carino's with A. by the way, johnny carino's is pretty darn tasty. i had some veggie ravioli with some salad. and to top it off some yummy cannoli (sp?) with something that tasted like chocolate chip cookie dough inside...i am out of control.

the only redeeming thing about my day...i took a 15 minute walk and did some yoga.