loser...

i feel like a big loser today. a and i intended to do 7 miles ... i flaked at 5. and only ran about a mile and a half of it. i continue to struggle with this cold that refuses to release its snotty claws. it was cold...i swear colder than the day of theft. i haven't been training. in addition to my loser-ness i ate so much crap today...movie popcorn, two sodas, mexican food, and a fully fattened frou frou coffee. suck.

and my printer just ran out of color ink...ahhhhh....

from what i hear (since mardi gras is in the news) the start of lent is coming soon. i'm starting to ponder if i should or want to participate. maybe i could give up not going to church. or soda. or dessert. or maybe even my bad attitude.

it's a friday time waster...

fun times.

starbucks anyone...

tonight E and i met a friend at starbucks. good times. they were training a new girl so they were giving away free drinks. 1 white chocolate mocha, 1 caramel machiato (sp?). too much coffee, milk and sugar in one setting i'm afraid.

anyway, i was thinking about starbucks. up until say 2 years ago - the only starbucks was in barnes and noble. you had to go to the big cities for the starbucks stores. now look at how many are within a 10 mile radius of my house. keep in mind my house is near the big body of water. they are taking over the flippin world and making a killing doing it.

and then there is the starbucks oracle.

happy friday.

i want something salty...

Today I went to the gym at lunch. This isn’t a normal thing for me. I’m generally opposed to getting really sweaty in the middle of the day and having a very limited time to do it. But I have plans tonight and I wanted to avoid the rush home and honestly I’ve yet to convince myself that a morning workout is a good thing. So I go and I do 30 minutes on the treadmill using the walk/run interval system. It’s a good workout but gee whiz I am hot. Not good hot but sweaty, my face is flustered and I want to lay down hot. But instead I return to my stuffy cube. If you have ever worked out with me or have known me long - when I exercise I turn a bright shade of red. It never fails. It also happens when I cry; actually I can just think or hint of crying and my face swells and turns an odd shade of red. We call it cry-ee face in my house. But seriously, I’m in my cube feeling very aware of my red face and hoping no one talks to me.

And I want something salty. Not fruity or sweet but salty. And all I have in my possession in 35 cents, an apple and honey nut Cheerios. Errr. I just remember I have popcorn. Maybe that will do the trick. Seriously, as I typed that I remembered the popcorn. Let’s pray it works or it might be a long afternoon. Whatever it’s going to be a long afternoon regardless…

This cold is bugging the crap of me. Yesterday I felt good, this morning I feel yuck again. I think I’m having allergy problems. Is it possible to have allergy problems on top of a cold? I bent over at the gym today and it felt like my head weighed 400lbs.

feeling so much better...

i think i'm going to survive the cold of 2006. there for awhile i thought i was going to die. yes, i am a big ole sissy.

today i went to the gym. 40 minutes of cardio. i guess i have to start somewhere. this marathon is sneaking up on me and i'm getting a bit nervous.

that's all for today...i've spent the last 2 nights watching american idol so i have to do some productive things now. there are so many reasons why i am a dork.

donald and martha...

sittin in a tree. k-i-s-s-i-n-g. first comes love...
what happened to the fairytale apprenticeland?

because i am a nerd i was reading (rather skimming) an article about them and their little skirmish. granted the article was rather ho-hum but i did find the last few sentences very odd, annoying and downright disturbing.

Last May, Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia teamed with KB Home to build 650 mini-versions of Stewart's mansions and sell them to her admiring public.

The homes, built in Cary, N.C., and priced between $200,000-$450,000, were quickly snapped up, with more than 3,800 buyers wanting in.

Due to the overwhelming response, Stewart has announced plans to build at least seven more Marthavilles this week, in cities ranging from Orlando to Los Angeles.

i am happy to report that i am feeling much better this evening. i came home and took a four hour nap, a good nap without the tossing and turning that i've had the last few nights. i have avoided taking any medicine and i think it has helped. so yeah, hopefully i'm on recovery road and haven't infected everyone around me.

i am happy to report a new nano is in my posession. a nameless lovely girl in white. and the purse drama slowly comes to an end...

i am at death's door...

ok, ok that might be a bit extreme but seriously my head feels like it could explode at any minute. at first i thought i had a little allergy, head cold and now i think it has turned into a allergy, head cold with a little bueblonic plaque thrown in (or maybe the bird flu). and i have no idea what to take - do i want my nose to run (so to drain the molasses in my head and dry out my sinus cavaties) or do i want it to not run (keep molasses there to block all air inflow through my nose). my grandma, freda, (who is sug's wife if you were around for the whole quadruple bypass drama) told me that alka-seltzer is the best thing for anything (honestly, i think she is addicted - she has boxes and boxes - at one point i think she offered it to my grandpa after his heart surgery and i was said "grandma, don't you think the morphine should cover his pain right now?"). and then anne gave me an alka-seltzer yesterday and had similiar feelings about it's affectiveness not to mention that have a new orange flavor that is quite tasty (in comparrison to to the old school alka-seltzer). but i'm not sure i'm buying it - i started taking it yesterday afternoon (because of the multiple good reviews) and i think there is a possibility that i feel worse...

anyway, saturday night i thought i was on my way to good health...little did i know that the worst would be right now while sitting in my cube. i'm taking care of some official regent's business and i'm going home to my couch. (but first i'm writing a blog, yeah i'm a big dork.)

i'm never going to exercise again... i need sleep. and i'm pretty sure i should not blog until i feel better because they just seem so random and spacey to me right now - maybe i'm just random and spacey...hmmm.

i can't sleep...

i'm wondering does my body know it's sunday night. i can never sleep on sunday night due to the sunday night blues. but tonight is different i get to sleep until 8:30 and don't have a long-work day ahead of me. but yet, i'm awake and it's 2:00am - therefore giving me typical sunday night amount of sleep. eer.

as i'm typing this i wonder...will this even be rational in the morning?

i was talking to my friend melissa tonight. melissa lives in l.a. right now and i was thinking how cool that seems that she lives in l.a. but then i remembered that really only means she lives about 2 hours away from downtown during rush hour (which is about 6 hours a day) and she has smog. but then again it's probably warm at her house but a flippin' 12 degrees at mine.

anyway, we were discussing the olympics and posed the question "is anyone watching them?" which made me ask the question - what makes a sport a winter olympic sport? any my answer is frozen water. can you think of a winter olympic sport that doesn't involve some type of frozen water?

yeah, i'm pretty sure i should make a rule against blogging after midnight, especially when i'm sick. sweet dreams.

what a three-day weekend...

• i'm officially sick.
• there is 2" of sleet out my front door.
• i haven't and won't likely exercise anytime soon.

in honor of charlie...

Today my friend/co-worker Amber held a nice memorial service in honor of Charlie. Amber, Amy, Rebecca and I congregated on top of the parking garage to say an official goodbye. I was given a balloon with a picture of Charlie inside. Amber said the following at the service -

In Honor of Charlie
12/25/2005 – 2/11/2006

“Nearly a week ago, Charlie the Nano was stolen by some mean person in Dolese Park.

Charlie left our lives as quickly as he entered it.

About the same time we met Charlie, we also learned about a new marketing term: the lovemark. A person would feel a deep personal loss if they did not have the lovemark in their lives. Recent national lovemarks include Starbucks, Target and, of course, the iPod.

This balloon represents the deep personal loss you have experienced when your lovemark, Charlie the Nano iPod, was stolen from your life. By letting this balloon go, you’re acknowledging the pain you feel and releasing it at the same time.”

Thank you Amber! This was a very lovely gesture.

I would like to note that thanks to the holy mother of strange weather patterns causing frigid temperatures and howling winds – the balloon and Charlie’s memory are currently caught in a tree.

women more efficient....

imagine that.

i saw this in a jeff galloway email (jeff galloway is a running guru who suggests the interval walk/run method) and thought it was interesting.

"...Nature seems protective of women’s role as childbearer, and wants women to maintain adequate body fat for nourishing healthy babies. Hence, women are more energy efficient. Obesity researchers at NY’s Columbia University suggest a pound of weight loss in men equates to a deficit of about 2,500 calories, while women need a 3,500 calorie deficit! No wonder women have a tougher time losing weight then do men..."

today i ate fritos...

i am completely ashamed and feel the need to confess it. i wanted something salty and without hesitation i grabbed two quarters and headed to the vending machine. i'm starting to get very worried about myself. i have no self-control and have just enough guilt to make me want more.

i did make it to the gym today. i have no illusions of super fantastic workouts but i figure getting there everyday is a step in the right direction. i walked for thirty minutes. for the purpose of making myself seem as if i accomplished more - i am feeling sick (like germs have attacked me from the neck up) and my strange back issue (it's not a tumor) was really bothering me today. so yeah, i did a fantastic workout afterall.

i've seen headlines this week about the stones doing a free concert in rio but i hadn't really read anything but this did catch my attention. has anyone seen the movie city of god? if you haven't - you should, it is an amazing movie. if you have - you understand why i wouldn't get within a bizzilion miles of the slums of rio.

come on friday...monday's a holiday...woo-hoo!

holy mother of strange weather patterns...

what are you doing ? 65 yesterday, snow all weekend...geez.



this photo made me laugh.
this day is sucks.

an update to my previous skillet post.

there is something going around...

i suck. that's just all there is to it. i am barely doing half of my training days and i'm eating way too much crap. there are exactly 73 days left to the marathon and i'm blowing off training. i'm just really frustrated at myself because i have nothing to blame the problem on but myself. i can say i'm tired, i can complain that it takes too much time or that i don't feel good but really in the end...i'm just choosing not to do it. i am seriously bugging myself.

but seriously, i have a few weighties (that's what i'm calling those around me who are always in a fight with a cheeseburger or some bad food vice) around me who all struggling right now. a month ago they were doing great but for some reason everyone is having a hard time. is it the weather, valentines day, any thoughts?

theft update: i got a call from state farm today. i should be receiving a check in a couple of days. it will cover the cost of a new nano. now i must make the tough decisions - white or black, girl or boy, names? i'm taking opinions and suggestions. and again i feel lucky that i had my archaic phone laying around because the settlement is barely covering the nano. and what is my lesson for the year - only travel with nano when can keep on person.

so i've been making some changes to my layout and this just sucks. my profile text is TOO big. and the alignment is all jacked up. this is one of those times when more html skills would be a good thing. suggestions, anyone? speaking of html, layout and font size - i've been tossing around the idea of taking some graphic design classes, maybe working towards that sort of career. because i think this communications gig is going to get old fast and probably even faster in a government position.

more randomness...

i forgot to include this topic of conversation yesterday...

cankles - i wasn't able to find a legitmate source but did find this definintion at urban dictionary where there were multiple "The area in affected female legs where the calf meets the foot in an abrupt, nontapering terminus; medical cause: adipose tissue surrounding the soleus tendon, probably congenital, worsened by weight gain and improved in appearance only by boots. From the English "calf"; meaning wide portion of the lower leg, and "ankle"; meaning slender joint of leg with foot. "

the fact that i ever claim to find legitimate information online makes me laugh.

happy wednesday.

happy st. catherine's day...

st. catherine, the patron saint of spinsters. that one goes out to you amber.

today i feel lots of randomness coming so if i jump around sorry...

some random topics that came up at work today -
baby corn - who knew it was actually baby corn?
purple carrots
the story below - women are studpid!

--------------------
You too can be a 40-year-old virgin - from Anderson Cooper's blog at www.cnn.com

Someone told me that women are having their vaginas rejuvenated. That's right, rejuvenated and reconstructed and revirginized even. I thought they were kidding. But my producer and I looked into it, and sure enough, it's an emerging surgical trend.Vaginal rejuvenation costs thousands of dollars and is done with a laser. It includes a variety of procedures, such as women getting their labia made smaller because it is uncomfortable for them to engage in physical activity or have intercourse, women getting their vaginal canal tightened as it was pre-baby delivery, and other women going one step further by getting their hymen (the gateway to the vaginal canal) tightened. This last procedure can, in a sense, make a woman a virgin again.In many instances, the women who get this surgery need it for medical reasons. But not all. Some women do this as a gift to their husband or significant other.I interviewed one couple for this story who has been married 18 years and has two children. The wife recently had her hymen replaced as an anniversary gift for her husband. We also talked with the doctor who did the surgery and even got to be in the operating room during another woman's surgery.You can see the video (the PG version) tonight, February 14th, Valentine's Day. These women say it's the perfect gift. But beware, it isn't cheap.

----------------------------------
speechless, aren't you?

now on to something else. i was thinking about our run on saturday. we didn't really enjoy our accomplishment because it was overshadowed by the two punks. we ran 6 miles in horrible weather. i tried to quit on the second lap. if we hadn't done it together i'm pretty sure both of us would have been on our couch instead. i'm very proud of us and it a makes me mad that we ended up having a really bad day. so i'm taking this chance to congratulate us and say how cool we are. so now you know.

larceny update - i've filed all of my stuff with st. farm so keep your fingers crossed. i don't anticipate any problems but there were very cop-like in their questioning. i suppose fraud is a common occurence but still i was slightly taken back by it. i'm hoping to get enough cash to buy a new nano and will just use my archaic phone. i'm guessing it will be ok because honestly i get about 4 calls a week and 3 of those are from E. i'm thinking i'm going to engrave my new nano with something like "IN HONOR OF CHARLIE 12/25/05-2/11/06" i think that would make me laugh. it might be wiser to put my name on it but really how funny is that?

exercise update - today i went to the Y at lunch. at lunch, isn't that crazy. i did 30 minutes with walking and running. not the greatest workout in the world but it's the best i'm going to do today. i'm hoping to get some good runs in the next couple of days. saturday we are supposed to run 7 miles - and as weather fate would have it we are supposed to have freezing rain. note it's 60 degrees outside today.

food update - E has been doing weight watchers and it's killing me. everday i come home and he says "i have 20 points left!." 20 flippin' points - who has 20 points at 6pm. i'm lucky to come home with more than 5. i honestly think it makes me want to eat more. my little brain thinks "20 points thats a feast, let's share." anyway, he is doing well at it and last i heard he has lost 3lbs.

i've updated my links with a few stranger links that i enjoy reading.

happy v-day. E and i are avoiding the crowded restaurants. i think we are going to hit chick-filet. yes, it does sound lame but we have a coupon. plus the nice restaurants will be full of annoying lovey-dovey people and seriously we've married too long for that. i play, sorta.

spread the love.

oh this is....

creepy!

took a short walk today. my back has been hurting me the last couple of days so i'm using that as an excuse.

the sunday night blues...

yep, back to the ole' regents tomorrow. and i anticipate a fun time. i have a big project going on this week so i'm looking forward to lots of conversing with my boss...errr.

i'm still a bit spooked about the big larceny yesterday. i'm completely freaked out that someone (a criminal someone) knows so much about me and i have no idea who they are. and i feel so goofy because i am really sad about my nano. getting charlie was a big deal. we don't have a ton of money and it was special thing for us to spend that much money on something that wasn't a necessity. but thanks to insurance all should be well in a couple of weeks...fingers crossed. in the meantime i will be using an old cell phone that's twice the size of my old phone and has a black and white screen.

and on a positive note. in my purse there was a gap gift card that i had from christmas. a $46 gift card. today, i came across a receipt that had the card number on it. i called gap and they are sending me a new card with the whole balance. the gap lady made my day. i'm guessing "punk1 & punk2" (that's what i've named the mean people that did this) didn't even bother to look past the credit cards that were handy. so they probably threw the gift cards and misc items in the trash. stupid punks.


i was looking for an appropriate mean people graphic and came across this. all i could think was "but i love chesseburgers!"

today, i ate too much and avoided exercise.

tomorrow, i will count points and run 3 miles. yep, that's what i will do.



dick cheney shot someone - why does this make me laugh everytime i hear it? happy monday.

RIP...charlie is gone...

note: i've been slightly depressed this week. i have lacked motivation to exercise, to blog, to be social and well have really only been motivated to eat. imagine that.

today - well it was an appropriate ending to my week.

A and i had a 6-miler today. *yes, we are still doing the half-marathon and only have 77 days left. * so i've been hearing all week that today was going to be cold but i was trying to not think about it. i watch the news around 11am and it is 35 fricken degrees outside, the wind is howling and there is mention of flurries. and i am scared.

This is the details from when we started -
Time: 1 PM (18) Feb 11
Temperature: 34.0 (1.1)
Wind: NNW 29

so instead of running at the lake we decide to go to this quaint little park that has a dirt path and seems very safe and friendly. A drives, i leave my purse in the car. 1 hour, 17 minutes later her window is broken, my purse is missing. yes, i am the stupid girl... oddly enough we had passed the car a couple of times while looping the park and everything was fine until the last 25 minutes of the run when some #*@!)# (#*@& &#&&&*@ couldn't act like a civilized human being.

so what was in my purse you ask -
1. credit cards, debit cards, identification
2. $1 cash
3. my lovely phone - with priceless U2 concert photos on them (you *^%%#*#!!!!!)
4. charlie (my recently officially named nano) - i loved him, he was with me all the time. i've only had him for a month and a half. i'm very sad. (i hate that &*%# *&^$@ $%** stealing *$ **&&^-/%)
5. a gap gift card with $40, a starbucks gift card with $2 and a jcpenny gift card with $20 - that's pretty close to cash
6. my favorite wallet in the world - $3 on clearance
7. my keys - this prompted me to change my house locks

so A and i had a fabulous, 6 mile, really cold, windy run. and then we got to wait an hour for the nice police lady to come. i'm still cold on the inside.

my visa was used about 30 minutes later at an albertsons down the street for $80. yeah, picking up some groceries, huh? maybe some booze or pseudophedrine.

jiminy i'm angry and absolutely sick to my stomach. life is hard enough for everyone - why do people insist on doing crap like this to each other.

and poor A - she's missing a car window - sorry for being so self-absorbed.

i had pizza tonight.

one of those weeks...

I can’t get out of bed on time.
I can’t get to work on time.
None of my clothes fit me right.
My stomach seems like an abyss. I’m never full or satisfied.
Working out seems like a horrible use of my time, especially the cross-training part.
My list of things to do – I’ve just ignored.
Payday is 19 days away.
My boss is talking to me a lot.
It’s very cold.


But on a positive note…
Mariah didn’t take home many Grammy’s – and Kelly did.
Speaking of Kelly – I want to be her friend.
I’m considering rum in Fresca for an afternoon pick me up.
I’ve made it to the gym once.
I get to eat Thai food and chocolate tonight.
The week is ending soon.

child of the 80's...

i stumbled across this on tv sunday. i'm not a family guy fan really but i LOVE this song and video. oh how it takes me back. note: you may have to click play.

happy tuesday.

pollen...errr...

yesterday i went on my long run and had a fabulous time. maybe not fabulous but i suffered through and was quite proud of myself. after about 20 seconds of being in my house though i started sneezing like you wouldn't believe. and for the rest of the day i sneezed, sniffled and felt like my head was filled with a slow moving molasses. and to top it off i decided to take some tylenol allergy medicine. oh my, that was a bad idea. in addition to above symptoms i then had disconnected head. you know that drugged, dazed horrible feeling. and i still feel yucky and it's all the pollens fault. i hate oklahoma and the never ending seasonal allergies.

any of you who know me (all three of you reading this) know that i change out my wedding ring periodically. i like the variety. i only wear one ring and i like being able to change it out with new fun ones. plus, i think i get some pleasure in shocking and bothering the traditionalists out there who don't understand how i could do such a thing. i'm pretty sure they think it reflects on my marriage. but it makes me laugh. anyway, i found my new wedding ring. for some reason the photo loader won't work so you'll have to follow the link.

monday, 12:38 pm...4 hours, 22 minutes...

five miles down...

did my five miles today. woo-hoo.

and also registered. double woo-hoo.

stink...

so yesterday was supposed to be my long run with A. i woke up with a migraine which pretty much ruled out anything that involved movement. suck. a whole day just out the window. i accomplished nothing. and just to make it all the suckier it was about 60 degrees and not very windy. not windy in OK is hard to come by and a mean bad migraine took it all away.

but today i'm feeling much better and hopefully will have a run today with A. i do have to say it's quite windy though. lately i've been thinking about the discomfort that comes with running. for some reason, possibly the whiner in me, i've always thought that running was easy for some people. like it was something that was natural for them and they weren't uncomfortable at all. i'm starting to wonder if that's not just an excuse i've given myself for never being very good at it, for very long.

i've been running long enough to know that a big part of the game is the mind. being able to overcome negativity, games to convince yourself to stay in to the next mile, finding distractions from the pain...but i don't know that i've ever really tapped into that. i've been reading the marathon book by jeff galloway and i just read the chapter on training your mind for the marathon. he talks about the left brain, the logic, and how it's job is to steer you in the direction of plesaure and away from discomfort. "Any form of stress or percieved stress will stimulate a stream of messages telling you to 'slow down' or quit!' or to question or sanity: 'why am i doing this?'" because we rely on the left side when we are weak it's very easy to listen to these messages. The right brain in our intuition and allows the creative ability to overcome the negative messages from old lefty. so he talks about playing out rehearsal in your head to practice for the big day (and luckily we get lots of practice training) so that when something does bother you, you have a plan so that you don't start listening to lefty. for an example how to desensitive yourself to uncomfortable parts. he also talks about mantras so when you feel like you can't keep going you have little catchy things to say to your internal self: feet stay strong, my heart is pumping better, more oxygen, i feel comfortable - i'm in control, i'm floating. or how to preoccupy your left brain: find something to look at and analyze, one more step, one more step, one more block, baby steps. as i type this stuff it seems a bit hokey but i'm thinking it might be something i really need to consider trying or at least thinking about more.

lastly he talks about the vision exercise -
i'm looking forward to my run because:

• the physical exertion will feel good
• my legs want to run (oddly enough, i had a running dream this morning - desire or dread?)
• increased blood circulation makes me feel more alive
• i love the way i feel afterward - relaxed and focused, with great attitude
• my family appreciate the way i am after a run
• it's so great to run in the morning to get the mind and spirit movilized and focused on the day (seriously? said with a bit of sarcasm)
• my afternoon run takes away the stress, getting me ready to enjoy my family
• during the second half of my run and afterward, i'm on endorphins

so yeah, that's just some food for thought. i was watching tv this morning and came across the xterra world championship. now those people are amazing. i heard one woman say "the people who do well at this race are the ones that when their body is screaming at them, they tell their body to 'shut up!'" i thought that was something i should probably learn from.

oh it's just some wind right...

thanks amber and microsoft...

for showing me this super funny video...

you know i've never worked in an environment so "office-ish" before. OSRHE is a whole new world. i've never had a cubicle, been forced to eat out of a vending maching or had so many stupid acronyms to remember. oh private sector...how i miss you.

no excercise today. tomorrow is a 5-miler.

hmmmm....

wouldn't this take all the fun out of eating?


i'm considering A's approach to starting the day. a little kahlua in the coffee...now that can't be a bad thing. but i'm thinking i can't put it in my travel mug because of that open container law. hmmm. maybe i could keep it at work in a secret bottle or flask shaped like a stapler. now that's a plan for getting through the day. the government job has pushed me to consider drinking at my desk. again i ask what have i done? at least tomorrow is friday...



40 minutes of walking today. it was ok. i'm looking forward to the long run on saturday. no, seriously i really am. 86 days.

good run today...

i had a very nice run today with A. i was tired and feeling very non-athletic but thanks to a little motivation and accountability it worked out just beautifully.

this is me running from a large dinosaur - i look like a dumb movie character - drop the purse and run from the big monster, you dummy.