look at today last year...
i was also gearing up for the trip to nyc...what a difference a year makes! now i'm gearing up for my trip to unemployment office...i say all of this with a slight smile.
Friday, November 30, 2007
it's gonna be ok...
at least i think so...today i'm feeling a lot better about things. or at least i've been able to find some good that can come out of all of this. which i think is what has caused me to be so down lately...i'm generally ok with change and bumps as long as i can turn them into a positive in my life. the last few weeks i have been unable to find any positive...just more crap.
but after a conversation last night i think i can see some good...e and i have been in a transition time for quite some time. the past five years have been a very exciting, interesting and frustrating adventure but one we both realize needs to wrap up or at least transition into something else...whatever that means. and good or bad all this crap over the last few months is forcing us down a different path...a path that we've been hesitant to change.
i anticipate the next few months are going to suck. money is going to be tight. uncomfortable decisions are going to have to be made. change will have to be embraced. but i think in the end we will be happier and skipping down our new path.
so in the meantime, i'm trying to conjure up some christmas cheer. limit my worrying. keep it all perspective. and remember life always works itself out.
and i've received word that i passed my clerical test. thank goodness...wouldn't that have been a hoot.
happy weekending.
but after a conversation last night i think i can see some good...e and i have been in a transition time for quite some time. the past five years have been a very exciting, interesting and frustrating adventure but one we both realize needs to wrap up or at least transition into something else...whatever that means. and good or bad all this crap over the last few months is forcing us down a different path...a path that we've been hesitant to change.
i anticipate the next few months are going to suck. money is going to be tight. uncomfortable decisions are going to have to be made. change will have to be embraced. but i think in the end we will be happier and skipping down our new path.
so in the meantime, i'm trying to conjure up some christmas cheer. limit my worrying. keep it all perspective. and remember life always works itself out.
and i've received word that i passed my clerical test. thank goodness...wouldn't that have been a hoot.
happy weekending.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
hangin' in there...
so it's thursday and i'm back at the plumbers...tomorrow is my last day. and i'm glad. it's boring and very frustrating.
yesterday i stayed home and did some job hunting work...i have applied for a six month position as a legislative assistant for the state house of representatives. not my typical fare but something that sounded different and very interesting. anyway, yesterday i had to go take a clerical test which involved typing and a scantron test that was very much like a standardized test in school. read this paragraph and answer the questions...which i still read the questions first and then skim the copy. if you have four pencils and your dog eats two and then you buy 8 more how many do you have? and then the questions that you aren't quite sure there is a true right answer for...if someone calls and complains the proper response is a, b, c or d. and both a and c seem like appropriate responses. anyway, that was my yesterday along with a visit to a temp agency that really annoyed me.
in the midst of my work search yesterday i had lunch with some pals and they suggested unemployment again. and after pondering on it a bit...i decided to do a little more research and see if i can file. and i can. and i did.
as far as i can tell, i qualify and should receive benefits starting in a week or so. i'm not sure how this plumbing job fits into the mix and honestly without taxes being paid on my income i don't think it does. and if it does become an issue, i was hired as a temporary employee so benefits should kick in, just as this is wrapping up.
now i just wait. and hopefully my worry level will diminish some.
and maybe i will start sleeping again.
yesterday i stayed home and did some job hunting work...i have applied for a six month position as a legislative assistant for the state house of representatives. not my typical fare but something that sounded different and very interesting. anyway, yesterday i had to go take a clerical test which involved typing and a scantron test that was very much like a standardized test in school. read this paragraph and answer the questions...which i still read the questions first and then skim the copy. if you have four pencils and your dog eats two and then you buy 8 more how many do you have? and then the questions that you aren't quite sure there is a true right answer for...if someone calls and complains the proper response is a, b, c or d. and both a and c seem like appropriate responses. anyway, that was my yesterday along with a visit to a temp agency that really annoyed me.
in the midst of my work search yesterday i had lunch with some pals and they suggested unemployment again. and after pondering on it a bit...i decided to do a little more research and see if i can file. and i can. and i did.
as far as i can tell, i qualify and should receive benefits starting in a week or so. i'm not sure how this plumbing job fits into the mix and honestly without taxes being paid on my income i don't think it does. and if it does become an issue, i was hired as a temporary employee so benefits should kick in, just as this is wrapping up.
now i just wait. and hopefully my worry level will diminish some.
and maybe i will start sleeping again.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
lots of lovely, lovely things...
i'm pretty sure this is why god has avoided giving me lots of cash during my time on this earth...i would just buy bunches and bunches of these pretty things.
i'm really trying to get into this christmas thing because it's coming and i better find some christmas joy...but i'm just beat down. beat down i tell you.
the echo has just been hanging out at the dealership since last friday and today i made the call to start the major repair. and it's going to run us around four grand...and i don't even know what to say...other than i'm just beat down.
the funny thing is the car trouble really came out of left field...i love my car. it's been great. no problems and bam...a bad engine.
i just need a break. i can deal with the money issues, the occasional rear-ending, losing a job and a mirror but i need them to be spread out a bit...
beat down that's what i am. and i think i'm getting sick which seems like something that would happen when you're beat down. i think it's a sinus infection and i'm on the self-treatment war path...
happy wednesday.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
on the road again...
just can't wait to get on the road again
(everyone sing)
goin' places that i've never been
seein' things that i may never see again
oh i can't wait to get on the road again
so here's the deal...on thanksgiving my car started acting funny and strange lights came on. on friday i was told that i need a new engine. yes, a new engine.
i'm not sure on the details because we found this out late friday afternoon and haven't had time to ask a lot of questions (that will come tomorrow a.m.) but $4500 was mentioned. my guess is we can find a cheaper solution but that it will still be in the thousands of dollars.
my car isn't paid off.
i don't have a job.
i've cried a lot this weekend.
we have pretty much sat around the house this weekend in a serious funk...i don't want to be social and i could pretty much stick christmas in a box and forget about it.
i have my dad on the case and i will be talking to the dealership and my personal mechanic tomorrow so hopefully i will have more details and better news.
everyone cross your fingers.
Friday, November 23, 2007
one of the few redeeming things...
i don't really care much for winter. there are only a few things that i look forward to...and this is one.
today was not the greatest day...honestly it was quite crappy and possibly takes the cake on the plethora of crappy days i've had over the last couple of months. i can only hope it's the end of my dark cloud of crap. i'm sure there will be more on this to come...right now i can't deal with it.
but on a lighter and what the hell note...when i arrived at work today only my boss, one co-worker and an overwhelming pot smell were there. yes, my co-workers were smoking pot at 9am at the place i am working.
i really am about to go off the deep end...i can't keep track of the weirdness in my life right now. i think i should start officially documenting it...i suppose that's what this is.
hugs and kisses.
today was not the greatest day...honestly it was quite crappy and possibly takes the cake on the plethora of crappy days i've had over the last couple of months. i can only hope it's the end of my dark cloud of crap. i'm sure there will be more on this to come...right now i can't deal with it.
but on a lighter and what the hell note...when i arrived at work today only my boss, one co-worker and an overwhelming pot smell were there. yes, my co-workers were smoking pot at 9am at the place i am working.
i really am about to go off the deep end...i can't keep track of the weirdness in my life right now. i think i should start officially documenting it...i suppose that's what this is.
hugs and kisses.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
happy thanksgiving.
today i am thankful for...
my new oven that allowed me to make this tasty mini pumpkin treat.
my husband with whom i get into all sort of shenanigans with...and for this i am so grateful. our life will never be boring.
my ability to step out of the box and walk away from a perfectly safe situation...into a surprisingly not so great situation...and to come out of it fairly unscathed.
you, my lovely friends who send me encouragement, tell me when to stop whining and put up with my incessant need to ramble on this blog.
happy thanksgiving.
one day...
me and kermit will hang out in front of macy's together.
in the meantime he's just hanging out waiting for the parade.
the deed is done...
i gave my notice to my underpaying temporary job. it was a good thing and now it's time to move on. i will be here until next Friday and I will likely keep working on some stuff from home after that.
so now what do i do and i how do i keep myself from freaking the h-e-double hockey sticks out?
i have a couple of freelance things going on right now but i need to find something with some consistent cash. i figure next week i will start my new search...because everyone knows that no one is working this week or hiring for that matter.
today i went to a thai place down on the south side. doesn't even compare to thai kitchen...i'm slightly disappointed but luckily i had my tasty cookies to take away the sting.
so now what do i do and i how do i keep myself from freaking the h-e-double hockey sticks out?
i have a couple of freelance things going on right now but i need to find something with some consistent cash. i figure next week i will start my new search...because everyone knows that no one is working this week or hiring for that matter.
today i went to a thai place down on the south side. doesn't even compare to thai kitchen...i'm slightly disappointed but luckily i had my tasty cookies to take away the sting.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
all quiet on the job front...
sorta. actually i was just thinking about the book "all quiet on the western front" the other day and promptly turned it into a blog title in my head. anyway, did you ever read that book? for some reason when i was in high school, i thought i needed to be very academic. little did i know that i would be 32 working for next to nothing in a plumbing company...i digress. but really i didn't have serious plan for college (like michael cress, who went to harvard)...i just figured i needed to go somewhere and didn't matter where. but i still took those horrible academic degree classes...when i could have just taken regular people classes. anyway again, my senior year i took ap english and we had to read a bunch of classic books...like 20 or something and tested every other week. i really only remember three books. "all quiet on the western front" because it saddened me greatly and the title haunts me. "of mice and men" because it was so short and everyone saved it for the "last minute, oh crap i didn't read a book yet" week. also every once in a while "i like to touch soft things" pops in my head. another book i remember that i attempted to read was "the scarlet letter," after reading the first chapter three times and not understanding any of it i decided it was not the book for me.
this is what i gained from ap senior english at choctaw high school. thanks a lot mrs. mullins.
hmph.
but really not much is going on regarding the job hunt. i'm still at the plumbing place and i think i need to quit but i don't have a back up plan and it completely freaks me out. but i have to remind myself i can find a job on the north side making just as much money...but it's still become a security blanket for me. there's lot of other issues like taxes, feeling under appreciated and wanting to do some other things but the first paragraph wore me out...so if you want to chat about the my plumbing dilemma...give me a call.
no really...i'm lonely these days.
i think i'm going to give my temporary notice tomorrow.
just a few other notes:
i made these tonight...i've eaten two and i feel like a buttery blob. oh but they are tasty. who cares about the crap load of butter. (note to self: you really, really, really need to go the gym tomorrow)
doesn't this look fun. i really want to play.
my mac was sick but he's all better now. happy sigh.
this is what i gained from ap senior english at choctaw high school. thanks a lot mrs. mullins.
hmph.
but really not much is going on regarding the job hunt. i'm still at the plumbing place and i think i need to quit but i don't have a back up plan and it completely freaks me out. but i have to remind myself i can find a job on the north side making just as much money...but it's still become a security blanket for me. there's lot of other issues like taxes, feeling under appreciated and wanting to do some other things but the first paragraph wore me out...so if you want to chat about the my plumbing dilemma...give me a call.
no really...i'm lonely these days.
i think i'm going to give my temporary notice tomorrow.
just a few other notes:
i made these tonight...i've eaten two and i feel like a buttery blob. oh but they are tasty. who cares about the crap load of butter. (note to self: you really, really, really need to go the gym tomorrow)
doesn't this look fun. i really want to play.
my mac was sick but he's all better now. happy sigh.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
something pretty
this is the first installment of my new topic called "pretty things." i read too many blogs and have too many pretty things to share. click on the photo to see the source of prettiness.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
why? why? why? why? why? why? why?
must everything be so difficult. replacing an oven...seems simple enough. not really. replacing a dishwasher by a professional...seems easy enough. not so much.
and the even bigger question...why do i get so frustrated by these things. why can't i just let them go...they will get resolved. nothing is bleeding, no one is dying, nothing horrible or even bad is happening. i just can't get a simple task accomplished...this is why i avoid home improvement, replacement of things...it just stresses the crap out of me.
in the middle of our brief oven fiasco last night...i said holy hell while on the phone with my mother. she gasped, mentioned washing my mouth out and seemed completely mortified that i said hell. i told her that i could have said something much worse but that didn't appease her in the least.
now i'm without a permanent, full-time job and i curse...she's got some seriously good ammo for the holidays now.
and the even bigger question...why do i get so frustrated by these things. why can't i just let them go...they will get resolved. nothing is bleeding, no one is dying, nothing horrible or even bad is happening. i just can't get a simple task accomplished...this is why i avoid home improvement, replacement of things...it just stresses the crap out of me.
in the middle of our brief oven fiasco last night...i said holy hell while on the phone with my mother. she gasped, mentioned washing my mouth out and seemed completely mortified that i said hell. i told her that i could have said something much worse but that didn't appease her in the least.
now i'm without a permanent, full-time job and i curse...she's got some seriously good ammo for the holidays now.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
oh crap.
today i heard an ad on the radio that started off with "now that we are entering the weight gain season..."
and my first thought was...oh crap, what season have i been in?
i'm screwed.
and my first thought was...oh crap, what season have i been in?
i'm screwed.
dazed and confused...
disclaimer: this blog contains lots of rambling that may or may not make sense to anyone (even me).
i'm not quite a freaked out today as i was on sunday but the panic hasn't completely subsided. and interestingly enough i've realized that i'm not freaked out by what i thought i was freaked out by. you would think that money, security and my overall stability would be what have me in panic. but actually i think i'm just more confused than anything.
confused by what i should do, want to do, need to do...confused by what i should be doing right this minute. working for less than my worth but earning a consistent check. trying some other temp job...that might not earn me money consistently. i'm just not sure about any of the decisions i'm making these days.
but this isn't unusual. lately i've begun to recognize something about myself. i get overwhelmed and confused about a lot of things big, medium and completely insignificant. what to wear. where to eat. which toaster to buy. where to work.
i think this is probably just a symptom of my overthinking everything. i've always got 12,000 things running through my head and sometimes i just can't make sense out of any of them and then i just get overwhelmed and confused.
and there are so many things to take into consideration. everyone's happiness. my happiness. the cost. will there be regret. what if it's a crappy meal which equals a wasted meal.
it just goes on and on.
so anyway, i say all this to say that i'm confused by the options before me. i have a wide open path (or at least for a few months) and i'm completely freaked by the choices i need to make.
i used to feel as if i had some sort of guiding force...we'll call the force god. i knew things in my gut. knew if major change was coming. knew what to choose. not little stuff but major stuff...my gut offered me an answer. but then over the last five years my gut completely stopped helping me. my guess it has something to do with my overwhelming anger at god. my husband was traveling, i was lonely and depressed, my life was at a complete standstill and i was angry at god for it all...we stopped talking. i tried. i wanted to hear something but i couldn't. or chose not to.
until the last couple of months. i knew i was going to loose that horrible job...i knew it. it didn't surprise me in the least. and now my gut says that i need to hang out...not worry about a full-time "real job" just yet. i'm hoping that means that something awesome is going to come along.
so there's my pickle. ride this wave for awhile or be practical. both of which are parts of my personality. i suppose the question is...which won will win and how much stress will it cause me along the way.
i'm not quite a freaked out today as i was on sunday but the panic hasn't completely subsided. and interestingly enough i've realized that i'm not freaked out by what i thought i was freaked out by. you would think that money, security and my overall stability would be what have me in panic. but actually i think i'm just more confused than anything.
confused by what i should do, want to do, need to do...confused by what i should be doing right this minute. working for less than my worth but earning a consistent check. trying some other temp job...that might not earn me money consistently. i'm just not sure about any of the decisions i'm making these days.
but this isn't unusual. lately i've begun to recognize something about myself. i get overwhelmed and confused about a lot of things big, medium and completely insignificant. what to wear. where to eat. which toaster to buy. where to work.
i think this is probably just a symptom of my overthinking everything. i've always got 12,000 things running through my head and sometimes i just can't make sense out of any of them and then i just get overwhelmed and confused.
and there are so many things to take into consideration. everyone's happiness. my happiness. the cost. will there be regret. what if it's a crappy meal which equals a wasted meal.
it just goes on and on.
so anyway, i say all this to say that i'm confused by the options before me. i have a wide open path (or at least for a few months) and i'm completely freaked by the choices i need to make.
i used to feel as if i had some sort of guiding force...we'll call the force god. i knew things in my gut. knew if major change was coming. knew what to choose. not little stuff but major stuff...my gut offered me an answer. but then over the last five years my gut completely stopped helping me. my guess it has something to do with my overwhelming anger at god. my husband was traveling, i was lonely and depressed, my life was at a complete standstill and i was angry at god for it all...we stopped talking. i tried. i wanted to hear something but i couldn't. or chose not to.
until the last couple of months. i knew i was going to loose that horrible job...i knew it. it didn't surprise me in the least. and now my gut says that i need to hang out...not worry about a full-time "real job" just yet. i'm hoping that means that something awesome is going to come along.
so there's my pickle. ride this wave for awhile or be practical. both of which are parts of my personality. i suppose the question is...which won will win and how much stress will it cause me along the way.
Monday, November 12, 2007
yes...yes i am thirtysomething...
we bought a new oven and dishwasher over the weekend.
they are being delivered tomorrow.
and i am so flippin' excited.
they are being delivered tomorrow.
and i am so flippin' excited.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
today...
is the first day that i've really freaked out about this job thing...not a good thing. i'm on the borderline of a complete panic.
and all i want is a cupcake.
and all i want is a cupcake.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
wtf????!?!?!?!
have rudy's mafia friends gotten to pat? has pat made a deal with the devil to syndicate the 700 club until the second coming?
i'm so confused.
Pat Robertson backs Giuliani's bid
By LIBBY QUAID, Associated Press Writer 11 minutes ago
Televangelist Pat Robertson, founder of the Christian Coalition, endorsed Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani on Wednesday.
"It is my pleasure to announce my support for America's Mayor, Rudy Giuliani, a proven leader who is not afraid of what lies ahead and who will cast a hopeful vision for all Americans," Robertson said during a news conference with Giuliani in Washington.
The former New York mayor backs abortion rights and gay rights, positions that put him in conflict with conservative GOP orthodoxy, and has been trying to persuade evangelical conservatives like Robertson to overlook their differences on those issues.
Evangelicals have split in their support for the leading Republican candidates. Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback, a favorite of Christian conservatives who dropped out of the race last month, endorsed fellow Sen. John McCain of Arizona on Wednesday. Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney recently announced that Paul Weyrich and Bob Jones III were on board with his candidacy.
Asked about the Robertson endorsement, McCain, at a news conference with Brownback in Dubuque, Iowa, said: "Every once in a while, I'm left speechless. This is one of those times."
Giuliani is best known to voters for leading New York in the aftermath of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. Shortly after 9/11, Robertson released a statement in which he said the attacks occurred because Americans had insulted God and lost the protection of heaven by allowing abortion and "rampant Internet pornography."
Robertson made no mention of his differences with Giuliani on social issues in Wednesday's statement.
"Rudy Giuliani took a city that was in decline and considered ungovernable and reduced its violent crime, revitalized its core, dramatically lowered its taxes, cut through a welter of bureaucratic regulations, and did so in the spirit of bipartisanship which is so urgently needed in Washington today," Robertson said.
Robertson, who unsuccessfully ran for president in 1988, founded the Christian Broadcasting Network, the Christian Coalition and Regent University in Virginia Beach.
Also Wednesday, Giuliani said he asked two GOP friends in Congress, Rep. Peter King of New York and Sen. Jeff Sessions of Alabama, to introduce bills to keep states from giving licenses or similar identification to illegal immigrants.
The Democratic front-runner, Hillary Clinton, was criticized after a televised debate last week when she hedged an answer on whether she supported New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer's effort to grant licenses to illegal immigrants. Her aides say she generally supports the idea in the absence of comprehensive immigration reform.
i'm so confused.
Pat Robertson backs Giuliani's bid
By LIBBY QUAID, Associated Press Writer 11 minutes ago
Televangelist Pat Robertson, founder of the Christian Coalition, endorsed Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani on Wednesday.
"It is my pleasure to announce my support for America's Mayor, Rudy Giuliani, a proven leader who is not afraid of what lies ahead and who will cast a hopeful vision for all Americans," Robertson said during a news conference with Giuliani in Washington.
The former New York mayor backs abortion rights and gay rights, positions that put him in conflict with conservative GOP orthodoxy, and has been trying to persuade evangelical conservatives like Robertson to overlook their differences on those issues.
Evangelicals have split in their support for the leading Republican candidates. Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback, a favorite of Christian conservatives who dropped out of the race last month, endorsed fellow Sen. John McCain of Arizona on Wednesday. Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney recently announced that Paul Weyrich and Bob Jones III were on board with his candidacy.
Asked about the Robertson endorsement, McCain, at a news conference with Brownback in Dubuque, Iowa, said: "Every once in a while, I'm left speechless. This is one of those times."
Giuliani is best known to voters for leading New York in the aftermath of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. Shortly after 9/11, Robertson released a statement in which he said the attacks occurred because Americans had insulted God and lost the protection of heaven by allowing abortion and "rampant Internet pornography."
Robertson made no mention of his differences with Giuliani on social issues in Wednesday's statement.
"Rudy Giuliani took a city that was in decline and considered ungovernable and reduced its violent crime, revitalized its core, dramatically lowered its taxes, cut through a welter of bureaucratic regulations, and did so in the spirit of bipartisanship which is so urgently needed in Washington today," Robertson said.
Robertson, who unsuccessfully ran for president in 1988, founded the Christian Broadcasting Network, the Christian Coalition and Regent University in Virginia Beach.
Also Wednesday, Giuliani said he asked two GOP friends in Congress, Rep. Peter King of New York and Sen. Jeff Sessions of Alabama, to introduce bills to keep states from giving licenses or similar identification to illegal immigrants.
The Democratic front-runner, Hillary Clinton, was criticized after a televised debate last week when she hedged an answer on whether she supported New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer's effort to grant licenses to illegal immigrants. Her aides say she generally supports the idea in the absence of comprehensive immigration reform.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Sunday, November 04, 2007
dude...
this is the coolest thing ever...a USB Heating Blanket. currently it really isn't all that useful to me...but generally in office buildings i freeze year round...if only i had a real job, with a permanent USB slot for a handy little blanket.
and maybe one of these. or one of these.
and maybe one of these. or one of these.
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