fantastic...

i'll keep this in mind the next time i'm cooking up some dinner. note the use in food wrappers and textiles.






and people say cast iron is scary...

come on spring...

bring on the sandles, short sleeves and non-wearing coat days. oh how i love spring.

this morning as i was driving to work i heard a snipet on npr about the government requesting search records from google. this caught my attention because I LOVE GOOGLE. seriously i love it, it is a wealth of random information for me. all of my blog material, images and facts - from google. so i was wondering what would records show for me recently. since yesterday and today - red owl, owl, tower, cigarette butts waste, burn ban oklahoma, spring, plus random work searches. and lately has included yoda, love boat, hamburglar, donut (which led me to the infamous evil donut - a random website in the uk). there are no risky searches here but odd nonetheless.

yesterday, i went to the gym and did my standard 40 minutes (2min walk & 5min run). but this time i set a new personal best for this running go round - i ran for 25 minutes. that's a good 2 miles. i guess i am improving. anyway, i've yet to be convinced that running will ever be easy, fun or something i want to do. it still makes me hurt but i guess that isn't a high price to pay for trimming down my double cheek.

Pet Peeves #982 and #983

#982
Smokers who litter. Why can’t they throw their cigarette butts away? Why do they insist on throwing them in the street, on the sidewalk, and on grass? Today I’m sitting at a light and I see a woman in a lovely BMW SUV coolly smoking her cigarette. I’m ok with that really because we each choose our own poison - hers is smoking, mine is fried foods. But she proceeds to throw her cigarette butt on the road and that’s not ok for numerous reasons. One, its trash. Two, we currently have a burn ban in effect. Thousands of acres and homes have burned and this woo-ha in a over priced SUV threw her cigarette out the window. Errr.

A little fact for you annoying, inconsiderate smoking litterbugs - worldwide, smokers toss at least 4.5 trillion cigarette butts each year. There is a special place for you.

#983
Being stuck in a rut between sizes. I am a size 9 in a misses even-sized world. Double errr.

I’m sitting on the edge of serious crankiness.

not another monday...

i have a small addiction. i love magazines and for some reason i think they will solve my problems because of some catchy headline on the cover. you know..."four steps to a great fitness routine" or "be the person you've always wanted to be" blah, blah. everyone knows the four steps or how to accomplish your goals but it's a matter of doing them not necessarily knowing how. so now that i've come to this conclusion about myself and catchy headlines my magazine purchases have reduced dramatically. but i'm all about trading so if you have some magazines and i have some...let's trade.

anyway, i say all of this because (i'll try to make this short) i bought a subscription to organic style on ebay for super cheap and for some reason organic style was shut down and i received a copy of experience life instead. i had never heard of this new mag but it's not bad. but back to my point. they had an article about resolutions and there was section that really stuck out to me or as oprah would say an ah ha moment. it says something like this...

"Too often, we don't actually get around to doing a whole lot with our resolutions, and part of that has to do with the way we construct them in the first place. In many cases, this potentially illuminating ritual of self-reflection is reduced to little more than a laundry list of fix-it items, a litany of barked orders, a quickly scrawled testament to our own self-loathing."

for some reason the self-loathing part stuck out to me...i'm a self-loather so i thought i would share. why is it so hard to like ourselves? because i'm a retard...

and just an update. i saw my grandparents yesterday and my grandpa is doing really good. i think he is really uncomfortable but i suppose that's expected. they kept talking about him being stapled up and it's true he has about a 1-1/2 foot incision area that has a long line of staples. very odd really. i bet that was too much information for you, huh?

here's to a short, fully awake, non-cranky monday.

four miles down..

i have finally gotten around to doing another of my long runs. i've missed the last two weekends. it was a decent workout. and i'm glad it's out of the way. i'm ready for A to be home so we can get on a schedule. having a partner is very helpful. and keeps me from flaking out.

so people have been asking me about my five lbs that i named. you might remember them frenchie, hamburglar, captain, doctor and sweetness. and to answer their questions no i haven't lost them. i think that my naming them had more of an impression on my faithful readers than it did on me. i've also been asked if they are numbered in their weight loss preference and honestly i hadn't thought about it. but i've decided that i will rank them in importance. first is hamburglar then as follows - frenchie, doctor, sweetness and captain. i choose hamburglar first because really fast food or food of the hamburger type is really a huge downfall. when i was serious about WW i never ate food like that and now theoretically i should be able to eat it occassionally but my occassionally often turns into frequently. so it's something i need to work on.

thankfully payday is coming soon (i just survived my first month on the only one check a month pay plan) and i'm planning to sign-up for the half-marathon next week. i've got to get it in stone.

i found out yesterday that between my three fellow female co-workers they have lost 25lbs since christmas. holy moly. that's a small child. i'm very proud of them!

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try.

yeah, that's one by yoda.

another workout day down. not the greatest workout but a workout nonetheless. 30 minutes - 10 run/20 walk.

no pointless rambling today. i'm tired.

i found this site this week. i thought it was fun. but keep in mind i am a nerd who puts npr podcasts on her nameless nano.

congrats to amber who has lost 10lbs on the WW wagon! woo-hoo.

good diet day, bad diet day...

before i started this blog i knew i was a little obsessed with my diet habits but i had no idea it was this bad. now that i have this outlet i just ramble on and on about it. sorry if i'm bugging you. anyway, i've noticed a 2-3 day diet pattern. i'm good for 2 days, bad for 2 days. luckily in the end it all evens out and i stay the same. thank goodness.

yesterday - no exercise
today - nice brisk walk with my friend rachel (30 - 45 minutes)

my partner in crime (or at least for my half-marathon training) anne is currently on vacation. a crusie. i am here trying to convince myself that continuing in my training is a good thing and i envision her at the midnight mexican buffet, drinking something fruity and planning her lazy day on deck. actually i just had a vision of her on the love boat hanging out with captain stubing and doc. it made me laugh. i loved that show.

evil donut...

leave me alone.

today on the way to work i had a 10 minute conversation with myself about stopping and getting a donut (or two) to eat. i was having a rough morning and everyone knows that a donut can make the day so much brighter. luckily, i overcame the pressure and had oatmeal instead. but it really made me ask "why are you still having these crazy internal food dilemmas?" at some point shouldn't i overcome my old habits or am i going to fight them my whole life. fighting fried foods forever seems like a very daunting task.

i did it...

i made it back to the gym. and it was a good run. i did my standard 40 minute (5 min run/2 min walk) routine. i felt good exercising but have felt like crap ever since. i don't think it's supposed to be that way.

i just have to ask - what is wrong with these people?

i'm so tired and it's only monday. i'm afraid it's going to be a long one...

seriously...

(to myself. yes, i talk to myself often) are you running a half-marathon in april? because your commitment level has dropped dramtically in the last two weeks and you are only 4 weeks in? i would say your level of commitment on a 1-10 scale is about 2. and you only get 2 points because you're at least thinking about it not because you're doing anything constructive.

ok, ok so it has been a rough two weeks - actually only a week and half - and up until then i was super exercise woman. i'm thinking that i need to go ahead and register for the half-marathon then it will be a "you've signed up, no backing out" deal. i'm going to tell a she needs to do this too. maybe it will provide us with incentive. regardless i am letting myself down. i hate letting myself down but yet i do it often...see previous post titled "why do i do the things i do."

i have a crazy busy week coming up. this job is seriously wearing me out. i go back and forth, it's me, it's my boss, it's the job itself regardless i am worrying a lot and feeling very inadequate and it's not that hard of a job. so i'm blaming my boss but really that only goes so far because in the end i have to go to work, accomplish tasks and live with myself. so at some point i'm going to have to settle into the dysfunction or move on. and i really don't want to move on...i just got there and have only officially acquired 10 hours of my 3 weeks of leave.

i found this image* while randomly searching for a photo to depict my new government-esque job. while this does not really capture my job, i thought it was a fabulous photo and i could only hope to be this fashionable in my cubicle.

*the girl with a government job february 1942
by louise dahl-wolfe

why do i do the things i do?

today i ate a lot. three good, non weight watcher meals and i wasn't even in a funk. some sort of funk is what generally throws me into a bad eating day. i had lunch and dinner plans and i just ate with out much regard to what it was. plus, i happened to throw in a not so good breakfast. i had been good the last few days too...i just can't seem to get it right. i'm glad you've stayed around captain, frenchie and hamburglar.

and to top her off...i skipped the gym. loser.

but on a positive note. eddie is on his way home. my grandpa is doing well. my day at work was pretty good. i have 100 days until the marathon. angelina's kids can use brad's name.

things are good. its sad but i have to remind myself.


waddle. waddle.

sorry...i have fallen prey...

to the ad machine. can i really make money off these ads (note athletic/sports/heart surgery inspired ads above)? does anyone really click them? do people just stumble into a blog a think "i am interested in bariatric surgery, how convenient." i think i should follow that link." i think not. i was just curious so i thought i would share it.

gym report for today -
20 minutes - bicycle
10 minutes - eliptical
10 minutes - walking on track - i got bored with the eliptical

so yeah...

witty titles are hard to come by.

today was the opening of the chesapeake boathouse and i was very sad that i wasn't apart of it. the boathouse is one of those projects at e+a that i really loved. this is one of those days that i ask myself if i made the right decision. i know deep down i did but my new boss is not making the doubt go completely away.

i do miss the creative aspect of e+a. there isn't a bit of creativity associated with OSRHE. this weekend i was thinking how i really want to be more creative, spend more time cultivating the creativity i have. but it's hard and i'm not sure it comes naturally for me. does it come naturally for some or does everyone have to carve time out of life to do it. i just know that there is more to me than what i express and live everyday. i'm just afraid one day all of my time will be gone and i will regret all the things i just thought about doing.

it is official i am the little engine that could. i made it to the gym and did ok. i intended to do 40 minutes run/walking and did but i cut out some of the running. my legs hurt a lot today, maybe that's what 3 days off will do. but i was thinking that i do have quite a bit of time (102 days) so i shouldn't be too hard on myself.

i think i can...

make it to the gym today...

there's so much to say...

but i just don't want to type it. the last few days have been a bit crazy and i think i have tons of blogging material but i just don't have any interest in doing it. have i already overcome my addiction? all it took was a few days away and a little bit of drama. surely not...

anyway, i'm tired and feeling a little under the weather. maybe tomorrow will be a better blogging day.

i did get back on the exercise wagon not to mention i actually counted points today. i stumbled to stay on today but i did climb on the wagon. i intended to do 40 minutes of running and walking and ended up only doing 30 minutes of walking. i was exhausted for some reason and just couldn't do anymore. again...maybe tomorrow will be better.

my grandpa is doing well. he had a quadruple bypass surgery and everything seems to going fantastic.

Not another...

today was another rough day. i'm feeling very depressed these days. i think i'm lonely, frustrated at the new job and just feeling overwhelmed by everything. eddie will be home next week maybe that will help some. in the meantime work is going to kick my butt.

the heart surgery is still up in the air but there's a 50% chance it's happening tomorrow so i'm planning on going regardless. if it doesn't happen tomorrow it will be on monday and i will go back then. i figure my grandma would probably like the company.

despite my lack of motivation for anything else i did go to the gym today. i did 40 minutes with the same 5 minute run/2 minute walk thing. it was rough but i did it. and i guess that's what counts. the captain crunh is almost gone...i'm a bit surprised it lasted this long.

This is for Eddie Jones.














happy weekend.

wow...

today was a bad day. work was annoying and stressful. and for some reason i'm really emotional...i've been on the verge of tears all day. anyway, i skipped my workout and i feel like a big loser. and to top it off when i got home i got a call from my grandma that my grandpa is going to have heart surgery asap. they aren't sure when but it will likely be in the next couple of days. so the welled up tears began to flow which then led to a cheeseburger. the natural step of things in my life really. so at this point i'm planning for the possibility of driving to ft. smith in the morning. and the cute kid with the cigar in her mouth...that's me and my grandpa Sug. Sug happens to be his nickname...odd really but his real name is Utah...even odder. if you happen to be the praying type please send one up for Sug.

i need to go to sleep...that always makes the day a bit better.

sorry for my last post. so negative really...last night three women really annoyed me. they were all in the wrong lane.

Pet Peeve #851

When you are running or walking on the track at your local fitness facility please stay in the appropriate lane.

--------------------
RUN
---------------------
PASS
---------------------
WALK
---------------------

You see the concept (see bad graph above) is very simple there is a running lane, a passing lane and a walking lane. The challenge for some is to stay in the lane that is appropriate for their activity of choice. Generally there are signs posted with this important information.

Please abstain from the following:
1. Walking in either the pass or the run (unless you are in passing mode). This tends to cause a traffic jam on the track.
2. Walking side by side. I understand you want to exercise with your friend, it’s a good time and conversation makes the time pass faster. Seriously though you are blocking the passing lane which causes me the faster walker to go into the run lane and therefore blocking the much faster runner. You see the problems this can create.
3. Don’t allow your kids on the track. I have a hard enough time concentrating on running; I don’t need to avoid your kids. Oh and the kids that like have little races with me…yeah, that’s fun not because it’s annoying but they usually beat me. I pay $40 a month for the gym privilege and I don’t want your kids in my way. If I wanted that I would have my own.

This has been a special break in the middle of my extra crappy day...

I'm addicted...

lately i've been asking where my time has been going and i think i have the answer...blogging. i'm afraid i've become slightly addicted. i think i'm going to have to cut myself off or at least limit my time allowed. tonight i've spent a good 45 minutes rearranging, adding a picture (which was on my 30th birthday by the way), searching for the random information below and diving into basic html to add the links. yes, i'm afraid i have a problem because i have a million other things to do...dishes, bills, laundry, blah, blah, blah...

anyway, i'm going to write the following despite my lack of time because i've been thinking about it for hours now. today i was thinking about the 5 lbs that i can't or won't shed. i decided to name them. it's kind of like AA or some self realization method - if you name or identify your problem its easier to conquer. so my 5lb enemies are named.
1lb - the Captain (as in the infamous Captain Crunch)
2lb - Dr. (as in Dr. Pepper)
3lb - Frenchie (aka French Fry)
4lb - Sweetness (that covers the basic description...hmmm sweet stuff...good)
5lb - Hamburglar (i love the hamburgers)

so friend hamburglar got me thinking...what in the world is hamburglar...and wouldn't you know it...mcdonald's india has a nice description. why as kids we aren't the least bit bothered by the odd cartoons we hear about i'll never know. anyway, enjoy the randomness. http://www.mcdonaldsindia.com/kid_hamburg.htm

i did after much whining make it to the gym today. 40 minutes of XT. 20 minutes on the eliptical and 20 minutes walking. All of the bicycles were occupied. stink. I'm considering going to a water aerobics class for XT but it's a serious committment so I'm going to have to psych myself up for it. by the way, the non-jiggly butt girl followed me into the dressing room today and proceeded to pick a locker two lockers down from me. what a way to start off the workout - changing right there with non-jiggy girl. geez.

congrats to a for reaching 10%. woo-hoo. you are awesome!

Monday...why do you always return?

I hate Monday. I hate it. It's the worst day of the week. It always involves sleepiness, crankiness and an overall dislike of the world.

But I did workout. And a good workout it was. I ran/walked for 40 minutes. I did a 5 minute/2 minute walk plan and I'm quite proud of myself. I'm a bit beat but proud. I was thinking today as I was run/walking - why am I doing this - why do I always come back to this "athlete" wanna be? You know how you hear some people go on about how they love to run. They can't live without it. Yeah, I don't get that. But I wish I did. Running makes me breathe hard, my legs hurt and an overall feeling of discomfort. But I keep coming back and I'm not sure I know why. Am I trying to prove something to myself? I don't think so. I've done lots of running. I've already run (actually walked mostly) a marathon. I wonder does it having something to do with my childhood, my mother, being the fat kid? I joke but I'm sort of serious. Maybe it's something simple, it's the only way I've found to make myself exercise regularly. I welcome your thoughts...

Is it bad that I laughed at this?

CHICAGO (AFP) - A mouse took fiery revenge on a man who threw it into a pile of burning leaves by burning his house down.

The flaming mouse ran back into the wooden house of 81-year-old Luciano Mares, in Fort Sumner, New Mexico, setting it afire and virtually destroying the building.
Mares said he had caught the mouse in his home on Saturday and threw it on a pile of refuse and leaves he was burning in the garden.
"The mouse was on fire and ran back at the house," he told the Clovis News Journal newspaper.
Fire Chief Juan Chavez said the mouse stood below a window and set the wooden wall ablaze. Firefighters from two stations spent two hours battling the blaze.

Come on Tuesday...

Sunday, boring Sunday...

what's a semi-single girl to do...
...randomly search the web (how can i waste so much time, doing nothing particular)
...cross-training and luckily for blu he might just get a walk
...try to avoid the captain crunch (yesterday was a day of funk and too much CC)
...have dinner and movie with my mom and sister to celebrate my mom's 50th birthday (this could go good or bad, it's always a toss up really. hopefully, it won't lead to more CC)
...prep for the week (ironing, food, gym clothes, etc...when did my life become so adult-like?)

yesterday a and i did our long run. 3 miles at a pretty slow pace but it was good. i felt like i had a good cardio workout, my legs were just tired enough and i'm not sore today. as mentioned about I need to do 30-40 minutes of cross-training and will likely take blu for a walk. it will releive me of the guilt of not walking the dog and will get him out of the house.

geez...

i'm glad today was my rest day for the week. i'm tired. i'm not sure if it's the exercise that's made me exhausted, holiday reminents (i still have garland on my front door), or the mysterious stomach illness that everyone around has had recently. i really want to avoid this stomach stuff...i hate stomach pain of any type because lets be honest it cuts into the eating. and i'm not a non-eating sick person. i'm a full blown eat when i'm stressed, eat when i'm sick, eat when i'm tired...food will always make it better. yeah...thirty years and i still haven't learned that's not how it works.

i have a confession. i bought a box of captain crunch this week. there is only one person in the world who knows my obsession for captain crunch...i love it. i could eat bowls and bowls of it. right now, i'm thinking about it even though it's bedtime, i'm tired and my stomach feels slighly sour. i don't know if i can stand the temptation. i am a sad, sad person. i also love bean dip. you know the kind you eat with fritos. mmmmm. good. now you can all know more of my food obsessions...i'm such a big mouth. (thanks to a stranger online named Matthew Armstrong for the Captain...i love google)


tomorrow a and i do our long run for the week. 3 miles. should be easy and the weather is supposed to be just fab. it will be a good time. here's to a long weekend!

día tres

so i made it through day 3. 20 minutes on the eliptical trainer and 20 minutes on the bike. not bad really and i think it was actually the hardest workout i've had since i started (ok, that's only been 3 days but there is some muscle pain going on). i did manage to pick the eliptical trainer directly behind a girl with the best, non-jiggly behind i've ever seen (with the word mossimo printed directly on it - words on the butt, that's a whole different subject - another time, another day). you would think that would be motivation but really it just made me think of my jiggle more. but overall it was a good workout.

i am a little bit bothered by the amount of time it's taking out of my day. it seems like after working all day and then going to the gym, me time is significantly limited. i realize that some would consider working out me time but i'm not buying it. the past shows i would much rather be anywhere but at the gym. i heard a report a couple of weeks ago that was discussing how americans feel like they have less "free" time than previous generations but this report stated we have much more free time - i thought this was interesting mostly because it does seem like we are always going but i wonder do we just go to go. is going our entertainment. gotta go shopping, watch movies, hang out with friends, go to the gym...do we know how to not go? just to rest. maybe it's just me. anyway, i'm going to run down my time for an average day.
1 hour - get ready in the morning (i'm debating cutting my hair short again, oh the time i could save)
10 hours - drive to work, work, lunch, work, drive home. i consider the drive and lunch work because i'm forced to do both.
1 hour - gym
6-8 hours - sleep (generally close to 6 but should be 8)
Ok so if I sleep the proper amount that leaves me with 4 hours of free time which includes social time, dinner time, laundry time, watch tv time, blog time, nano the boy time, radial angel time...i'm quitting now it's stressing me out just thinking about it...at least tomorrow is a rest day.

And to close there is this story that puts it all into perspective. Seriously arent' there more important things to worry about in this life?

LONDON (AFP) - It is one of the most fundamental -- and, for men, potentially hazardous -- questions of modern life, for which academics now hope to provide the definitive answer: "Does my bum look big in this?"
The School of Textiles and Design at Heriot-Watt University in Edinburgh have begun what is believed to be the world's first-ever study on how women's clothing affects the bottom.
Models with variously sized posteriors will wear different types of clothing as part of the research, which will examine how designs, colours, patterns and fabric types affect perception.
Others will be asked to assess how big or small each model's backside appears to look in the outfits.
"This study will provide for the first time detailed and usable information that would enable designers to make the clothes that help women make the most of their natural assets," said Dr Lisa Macintyre, who is leading the study.
"There's much discussion in the media of clothing styles that flatter the body and it's generally accepted that enhancing body perception can improve confidence and self-esteem.
"But the factors behind this have never been fully investigated in a proper scientific manner.
"Designers and consumers don't currently have access to established information that could enable them to make or choose garments that enhance body size and shape."
Four models had been chosen to provide a representative sample of female backsides, Macintyre said: the "standard", the full "pre-Raphaelite" type, the smaller backside of a slim model and a curvier behind, like the famed example of actress and singer Jennifer Lopez.

Day 2

Two days in a row that I have worked out. These days that is a serious accomplishment. 40 minutes in 2 min run/2 min walk intervals. Not exactly athlete-esque but it's something. I must say my new little nano is coming in quite handy - tonight I am working on a running playlist. I've yet to name my nano but it's cute and I think it's a boy.

My lovely new friend/co-worker Amber sent me this word and definition.
gastronome \GAS-truh-nohm\, noun:A connoisseur of good food and drink.

I thought it was appropriate for me and funny that she knows me well enough already to be familiar with my love of food. Really though it isn't a very good word - it reminds me of a little gnome in the forest with gas.

Tomorrow cross training is on the schedule. I'm thinking half the time on the eliptical du-dad and the other half on the bike. Ohhh what fun. When running today I did notice the buttocks was jiggling significantly - maybe I should just focus on that for motivation.

I am cranky...

and i'm not sure why. i'm sure i could produce list of complaints but really in the whole scheme of things they would just be petty.

day 1 training - i walked for 40 minutes. oh, i'm marathon bound now. can you sense the crankiness in my tone? i'm thinking i should go to bed now...

Today is the day...

and i think i'm freaking out a bit. feeling pressured, i've eaten a donut and onion rings. holy cow what is wrong with me? i feel a big lump of greasiness in my belly. maybe tonight after my workout i will feel better...i hope so or else this is going to be a long 17 weeks.

i heard a joke this weekend and i've customized it for my workplace.

how many communications directors with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

how many? you ask.

wanna do video?

yeah that really only works with my particular staff but change it to kids and wanna ride bikes and it's much funnier. oh my.

my daily exercise experience will be posted later...fingers crossed

as usual...

the husband is out traveling about and i am in a funk.

i went to a new year's eve party this weekend and i was the only single there out of 6 married couples, 3 of which I didn't know - this was a very surreal experience. one because i'm not single (haven't been for 9 years) but because of above mentioned fact was alone. two, generally there are a few single people around and i'm wondering was this over abundance of married people because of age. am i getting to the age where associating with single people is going to be less and less. anyway, it was an odd experience for me and one that made me a little more understanding of the singles in the world. i was seriously the odd man out - i completely threw off the numbers for game playing.

but back to the funk, i'm in a funk and officially start my half-marathon training tomorrow and my quest to get rid of the last 5lbs. sigh. both of which seem like very daunting tasks right now but on a positive my gym bag for tomorrow is already packed. the funny thing about my funks are they cause me to be lazy, eat more and spend money. but note the last two require extra calories and dollars - i have extra of neither. sigh again.

40 minutes of cardio tomorrow...go c.