when will it end...

i'm tired. i don't feel good. and i'm not going to the gym.

i am officially down and out today. i think i will go home and take a nap. and it's friday. boy does that scream...you are getting so old.

so tired...

i'm beat today and i'm not going to stay long.

i've added a new link. amber, friend and work cohort, has started a new adventure and i'm happy to say she is going to share it with us. should be good a time. www.wherearethespoons.blogspot.com

i skipped the gym today but did make it yesterday. will go tomorrow. hopefully A and I will get in a long run this weekend.

i had a massage last night - an attempt to treat this back ailment of mine. but no such luck. . i must admit i am very disheartened by the whole thing. i hate it and it makes me feel old...kind of like i'm falling apart. next step, chiroprator and book shopping. i'm not ready to take any invasive steps so i'm going to look more into self-treating methods. i feel like i don't have a choice and i'm afraid the chiropractor will cost me a bunch of moola.

here are some new photos of my cube. it's still very plain and boring. and tan and blue...

but i do have some art up so i'm making progress.




and lastly the treat of the night. this is my one and only easter decoration and i love it. you would be surprised the number of people who mistake this as real. oh the fun.

happy thursday...

i've heard stories...

about things like this... but seriously i'm weirded out.

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan - Surgeons operated on a 2-month-old Pakistani girl Tuesday to remove two fetuses that had grown inside her while she was still in her mother's womb, a doctor said.
The infant, who was identified only as Nazia, was in critical condition following the two-hour operation at The Children's Hospital at Pakistan Institute of Medical Science in the capital, Islamabad, said Zaheer Abbasi, head of pediatric surgery at the hospital.

Abbasi, the chief doctor who led the operation, said the case was the first he was aware of in Pakistan of fetus-in-fetu, where a fetus has grown inside another in the womb.

"It is extremely rare to have two fetuses being discovered inside another," Abbasi told The Associated Press, adding that he did not know what caused the medical abnormality. "Basically, it's a case of triplets, but two of the siblings grew in the other."

The baby comes from Abbotabad, about 30 miles north of Islamabad. She is the fifth child of a woman in her 30s, who was at the hospital to be with her daughter. Her father works in the Arabian Gulf.

Abbasi said surgeons removed the two partially grown fetuses, totaling about two pounds, that had died at about 4 months.

Other fetus-in-fetu cases have been reported elsewhere in the world. A report in a June 2000 issue of the U.S. journal Pediatrics called such occurrences rare and estimated their rate at about 1 per 500,000 births.

the greatest show on earth...

ok, not really. eddie and i went to the shrine circus (or shriner is what i call it). i am a sucker for that kind of thing. the circus, the zoo, carnivals, anything that a child would love...i love. eddie blames it on my parents who are really boring and didn't take me anywhere when i was a kid. so yeah, we went to the shrine circus and let me tell you something...the white trash love the shrine circus. you might ask how can i make this stereotype or judgement on white trash...i have three things to say. 1. my maiden name is spears, as in brittney 2. my grandparents built an addition (2 rooms & bathroom) to their trailer and lived there for years 3. my father was recently released from prison. you see...i do know what i'm talking about. but seriously the shrine circus is sad. just sad really.

but there was a domestic cat show.

some cool illusionists.

a trapeze artist that missed and fell on the net.

and a juggler that also picked up elephant dung. stinky elephant dung.

we did take our camera and took some fun photos and video. this is some elephant video.



i guess i need to blog about exercise. i didn't run over the weekend. actually i ran on wednesday, walked on saturday and finally ran again today. for some reason my back really hurt this weekend. i'm going to see a massage therapist tomorrow...hopefully that will relieve some of the discomfort. i did get some new running shoes this weekend...so at least i'm doing that right.

i've been eating like a big pigaroo lately. today i had to cut myself off or at least limit myself. i'll let you know how that goes this week.

oh it's only monday....tomorrow i hope to get some new, updated pictures of the cube. oh the cube. working sucks.

what the hoo-ha...

SNOW!!!!! it's march 23rd...

note: i do not know this man. i found this on newsok and it is a good representation of what i woke up to this morning.



i heard a story a couple of weeks ago with this statement "Approximately 40% of schools across the USA have either eliminated or are considering eliminating recess." i wanted to post it because i am appauled...and we wonder why americans are fat and lazy. This website is in response to recess elimination.

i have trained the last few days - monday 45 min - tue 30 min - wed 45 min - today i am resting. i feel like i am in over my head. but i does make me happy to know that i am somewhat prepared. if need be, i could run and walk 13 miles today so i should just relax. what a thought...just relax.

you might remember...

the evil donut. well it's time you met the evil reese's peanut butter cups.

i'm completely annoyed by my marathon training right now...honestly i want to quit. but on a positive note...i can eat anything i want and i continue to maintain my weight. it's always a trade... one good thing for another (ex: you give up laziness to eat chocolate or pizza or ice cream or french fries). never all good things.

just a few things...

• i'm hungry
• The denim tide is rising again. Stores around the country have begun stocking a new style of jeans, and the gap between the bellybutton and the belt is shrinking at last. Women who are too modest, too big—or maybe too tasteful—to wear pants that barely cover their pubic bone say they welcome the change. The new cut, called midrise, ends about two fingers below the navel and has a waistband that rests two thirds of the way between the hip and the smallest part of the waist. The Gap, which launched its own version of the midrise this season, called "Boy Cut," says they're already a hit. "They're flying off the shelves," reports Gap spokeswoman Kate Molinari. Levi's is introducing a new line of midrise jeans this fall. thank goodness...my pooch and low-cut jeans were never really friends...
• it's only tuesday
• where in the hoo-ha is spring?
• A police officer and a retired sheriff's deputy died while running the Los Angeles Marathon, while a third runner was in critical condition following the race, authorities said. The double deaths occurred during Sunday's running of the high-profile race that was won in record time by Kenya's Benson Cherono in 2hr 8min 40sec. my thoughts go out to these families but did you see the winning time...holy cow 2hr 8min 40sec...i'm pretty sure that will be our half-marathon time by a good hour...
• nola is digging the beatles today
• i went to the gym yesterday, i'm going again today. the next time i talk about training for anything over 3 miles...please pummel me with something.

not another...

blogging funk...

Mouse Hearts Glow Like E.T.'s...hmmm....

i found this at www.livescience.com. it's a fun little website if you are ever bored...

Researchers at Cornell University have created mice whose heart muscles are genetically engineered to fluoresce when the muscles contract.

Junichi Nakai of the RIKEN Brain Science Institute in Wako-shi, Japan, developed the fluorescent molecule by modifying a green fluorescent protein (derived from bioluminescent jellyfish) and making it glow brightly enough to be observed in the working heart. The sensor molecule turns on and off like a switch in the presence of calcium; calcium concentrations in the muscle increase with each muscle contraction.

In a series of images, the heart of a mouse embryo is seen to go from a resting state between beats (upper left) through upper heart chamber contraction, then finally lower heart chamber contraction (lower right).

Incredibly, in order to photograph a mouse heart beating (the mouse embryo's heart beats 6-10 times per second), a special camera cooled to -90 degrees Celsius was used to get a sharp image.
By the tenth day of development, a rudimentary heart is already beating, but it has only two chambers. The upper chamber contracts first, then the lower; this delay in contractions is obviously necessary for efficient pumping action. However, the atrio-ventricular node (AV node) does not develop until the thirteenth day; so, how does the heart function without it?
This technique allowed researchers to discover a layer of specialized cells on the surface of the developing heart that delays the beats between upper and lower chambers. These cells die off once the AV node has developed.

Technovelgy.com has developed several stories in which science fiction has anticipated researchers in heart-related stories (see Musclebot: Microrobot with a Heart and Heartshirt Electronic Underwear). This present story isn't really a case in which science fiction has specifically anticipated a real scientific development, but I couldn't resist. In the movie "E.T. the Extraterrestrial," director Steven Spielberg shows E.T.'s heart glowing as he communicates with his fellows aboard their ship.

-------------------

update on the running. i mustered up the energy to do 50 minutes yesterday and i have plans to go today. i'm still hanging in there...

toe pick...

i stumbled across this today and it just made me snicker...again with the i am dated speech.

i've fallen off the wagon, it seems as if i fall off every wagon i get on actually. i haven't exercised in two days...eeeek. it's funny how if i slack a bit, i can turn it into me being a complete failure. when in all honesty, all will be ok and i can go to the gym tomorrow. seriously...i exhaust myself sometimes.

this is my new reconfigured cube. ooooh ahhh...and yes that is a window next to my door/opening. there is no privacy...why even put that 3/4 wall up. cube world is odd to me. no natural sunlight but i do have flourescent lights. i am accepting ideas for covering the window. something creative and not too curtainy.

happy birthday...

to my lovely friend alida, who got married and ran off to fort worth. oh how i miss her.


this photo (like me) is seriously dated. there have been many hair changes and weight fluctuations since then. but this was such a fun day. we had lots of good days and a few bad. or was it the other way around. anyway, i miss her. i'm pretty sure the two of us together could take over the world.

sigh...

the last couple of days have been quite exhausting, emotional and frustrating. but instead of ranting about the particulars i'm going to ramble about other things.

E and i finally saw "walk the line" this weekend. i enjoyed it. i do think it was overshadowed by the hype though. movies with lots of hype are never as good as you expect they will be. but with that being said it was good and it moved me. i've read a bit about june since watching the movie and she seemed to be a very genuine, loving person. someone said of her she was always lifting people up. i always think of old church ladies lifting people up but you know what i want to be a lifter upper. anyway, i think i was moved by their story and longing to be spiritual beings while just struggling to be good people.

now that i've discovered youtube.com i think it's the coolest thing. below is the video for "hurt," a song by the nine inch nails that johnny cash covered in 2002 (sorry that's just a guess). everytime i see it i want to cry. if you haven't seen it...you should.



we did go to church last night. a nice place called fusion church. they seemed nice. i think we will go back. i've decided to give up Lent. i realized there was nothing spiritual attached to my sacrifice and honeslty i just felt like a big old fake. i'm pretty sure any spirituality that i had, has withered into nothingness.

A and i did our 8 miles yesterday. wow. it sucked, just like it did when we did 7 miles but i think it was worse. for some reason these long run are making me sick for the rest of the day. so it doesn't just suck while i'm doing it, it sucks for hours. so now i'm trying to muster up the strength to start this week all over again.

today my boss really upset me. i don't know if i can stay at this job. i really don't like when people are mean to me. it's just a job. right?


these are pictures of a new house being built in okc. it was designed by an old co-worker at e+a. i think it is going to be super cool.

so i think that's all i've got for now. if i were a good design person i would fix this 2nd picture on the left and do some fancy alignment but i'm just not going to. whatever, i'll fix it tomorrow.

happy tuesday.

i am officially dated...

'Top Gun' Jets Return From Final Combat (Yahoo News): There will be no more dogfights for the Tomcat. The last two squadrons of the sleek, Cold War fighter jet returned home from their final deployment Friday, two decades after the warplanes were glamorized in the 1986 Tom Cruise movie 'Top Gun.'

All 22 Tomcats of fighter squadrons VF-213 and VF-31 arrived in style, flying together in a wedge formation over Oceana Naval Air Station as hundreds of sailors and their family and friends cheered. Some wore T-shirts reading 'Tomcats Forever' and a banner proclaimed, 'Last Fly-In, Baby!'

'We're putting the premier fighter to sleep,' said pilot Lt. Jon Jeck, 32, as he held his 3-year-old son Collin. 'It's a staple of Americana.'

The Navy plans to replace the F-14, a two-seat fighter with moveable swept-back wings, with the F/A-18 Super Hornets.

The F-14 entered service in the early 1970s to defend aircraft carriers from Soviet bombers carrying long-range cruise missiles.

'If you want to think about airplanes that have defined the air age, this would have to be on the short list,' military analyst John Pike said.

After the Cold War, the Navy became less concerned about defending carrier groups and transformed the F-14 into a bomb-dropping fighter jet, said Pike, director of GlobalSecurity.org, an Alexandria research center on security issues.

'But it was not designed as a bomb hauler,' Pike said. 'They would rather have a new plane ... than try to teach an old cat new tricks.'

The F-14 squadrons that returned Friday were from the aircraft carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt, which has been on a six-month deployment for the Iraq war. The Roosevelt was to return Saturday to nearby Norfolk Naval Station."



click play to begin.

a final farewell to goose...

what in the world...

i don't know if you can read these jars or not but they are sweet pickles and relish sweetened with splenda. we are now sweetening our vegetables with splenda. very odd to me. and again this tidbit comes from amber.

since i've given up the soda i've been drinking other things. one of the most available flavored, non-soda beverages is lemonade. earlier this week i discovered the strawberry lemonade at chili's is pretty tasty. but the prize definitely goes to red robin and its freckled lemonade....mmm. mmm. good. i'm not sure but i think this award might have been swayed due to the bottomless french fries.

today was a pretty exhausting day and i'm not sure why i'm still sitting at a desk, staring at a monitor. it's sad really. i am glad it's friday. my boss continues to wear me out. yesterday he told me that his management style is to stretch me and make me feel uncomfortable in my job and that his job is not to make me comfortable. what...does he know what he is saying? i really don't even know what to say to that. but on a happier note my cube is being reconfigured next week so i will have a permanent home with a functional desk and decoratable walls. it will still be a boring cube but i'm hoping to spruce it up a bit.

yesterday - 40 minutes running and walking. i actually ran a couple of miles without the walking break. today - 30 minutes walking. tomorrow - run a few miles. sunday - run/walk 8 miles...eek. 50 days...double eek.

i'm tired. ahhh. tomorrow i will sleep late...

amber's fun website of the day...

what do you call my addiction?

i promise that we do work...sometimes.

and this article is very scary to me.

i am an addict...

so i'm driving home tonight and i'm wanting something, yummy, fried and bad for me. i go through the usual suspects...sonic, taco bueno (keep in mind, that i ate a horrible lunch and wasn't hungry) and i'm thinking about what i could eat...burger, tots, beef potato burrito. and it dawns on me that i can't have a soda and i loose all interest in these things. i came home and ate a turkey sandwich. i'm choosing my meals based on what i can drink with it. i might understand it if i was some wine-liking person who prefered white with fish but i'm talking soda pop. i just think it's odd. maybe i don't crave fast food but i crave caffeine, sugur and an acidic based drink...hmmmm.

today has been a food day for sure...

it's that time again...

it's peep time! but this time it's an evil peep. *thanks to amber for the cool graphic

while looking for a clever way to use nutter butters for an easter treat, i stumbled across this blog. it's a heavenly blog for a cupcake lover like myself...seriously, what is wrong with me that i find excitement in cupcake blog? speaking of cupcakes...do you remember the good ole days when you could buy single cupcakes at grocery store bakeries. now you are forced to buy 6 or a dozen. back then you could also watch good, quaility cartoons on saturday mornings...none of that anime crazy stuff.

i have a full day today so i got up super early and walked a couple of miles this morning. not a prime workout but a workout nonetheless. i went to chili's with my sister for lunch and i completely forgot every lesson i learned at weight watchers...i ate way too much.

an election...huh?

i voted, i voted. i feel like a good citizen today. but seriously was this the most undernoted, undertalked about mayoral election ever? i know mick is doing great...we have the hornets, downtown is booming but still...shouldn't someone be talking about it. i didn't even hear about it until last week. shouldn't there be debate or discussion. i didn't see the daily oklahoman today but i've heard it wasn't on the front page and the results or turnout isn't on their website or the local news. i just think it's odd. anyway, a very interesting man from OKC ran against mighty mick - www.bobwaldrop.net - i'm not sure he would be the best mayor but i always appreciate someone with new ideas, trying to stir things up.

i went to the gym again. yea for me! 50 minutes of walking/running. more running than walking. i've decided if i'm going to do this right, i need to beef up my training. so far, so good but i am tired. i'm just telling the inner, workout skipper me to hang on. i only have to survive a month and a half of daily training. after that i can relax a bit and hopefully my legs will be more toned. will the 5lbs be gone...probably not. i've got the munchies.

just a few notes from my day...

• nola sends out a big hooray for three 6 mafia
• jennifer lopez & jennifer garner both bug the hoo-ha out of me. why? i don't know.
• my boss still has ADD
• diet lemonade isn't half bad - it's no soda or real lemonade but it will do for now
• is it possible that crash won because it was good not because of hatred for gay cowboys?
• donald trump is the funniest man alive - not on purpose of course
• running 3 miles makes me very tired

i lied...

no church.

i survived another long run...

i was starting to wonder if i would ever get back in the swing of things. A and i ran our long run yesterday which consisted of about 7.75 miles. it was rough at points but for the most part i feel pretty good about it. i must admit though that i am a bit sore today. i went for an easy walk today with E and blu. tomorrow i will begin the routine all over again.

the weather is so lovely today. this is a picture of tree in my front yard. i love bradford pears and whenever they bloom i know that flip-flops are right around the corner.

photo 2 is another tree in my front yard. right now it has these little bulbs on it. i think it's so cool looking. E thinks i'm a dork but i think it's a fun little tree.

and lastly (it's as if i just discovered how to use my digital camera) this is a bag i made last week from some fabric i bought at a thrift store. it's not my best bag ever but i like it. i really need to make it a priority to do more sewing.


we are going to a new church tonight. i'm sure it will be an adventure. here's to a blues free sunday night.

and three donuts later...

i went to the gym.

today was a much better day than yesterday. sorry about the serious whining. i did make it back to the gym and had a really good workout. my legs weighed less and the experience was a good one. thankfully. i was losing all hope that i could be a productive exerciser. i'm realizing though that i'm really going to have to make my training a priority if i'm going to be happy with myself. so yeah. and since i'm sort of dragging my way through training i'm going to have to start more intense training i'm afraid. maybe less interval stuff during the week, longer runs to build some endurance and skipping some of the cross-training for more running. i'm not sure yet but i think that maybe the only way to make up some lost time. a and i have a long run tomorrow...if it doesn't rain...why must it always be such crappy weather on the weekend?


i'm still sticking to my non-soda drinking for Lent and i miss it. not as bad as i
thought i would but every so often it hits me. and i think it's the fizz that i miss more than the sugar or caffeine. anyway, it's good for me regardless of if i'm not catholic or barely ever go to church these days. i figure it can never be a bad thing to practice a little self-control. plus my kidneys will love me for it.


i saw this video on pbs last year and it made me laugh (still does). apparently these birds are faster than humingbirds and once they were able to capture them mating on video this is what they found. again, another reason to call me a dork.

woo-hoo it's the weekend!

i'm falling apart...

or i'm just a big fat whiner. either way i feel absolutely horrible today and i'm so tired of having my plethora of problems. for some odd reason last night my throat started hurting really bad, along with my ear. and sometime in the middle of the night a huge swollen bump appeared in my throat. so not only did it hurt but it feels like i have a huge horse pill stuck in my throat. then add on that i started the big p, which always leads to the migraines. i went to see my doctor yesterday about my back problem. he's perplexed and has no idea why i'm having these pains and that i should wait a couple of months and come back. thanks for your help Mr. PhD.

i'm my mother's daughter...my mother has always been sickly and i've always wanted to avoid that...and look at me. i feel as if i am falling apart and i'm only 30.

and i'm seriously stressing about this marathon. i haven't felt good for two weeks, i'm not training properly and honestly i don't have time for it. if i want to have any other personal, fun time it takes up my training time. working sucks. i suppose i'm still having a hard time adjusting to working full-time. i really don't know if i'm going to be ready to do the marathon. sure, i can do it but will i do it well? will i be forced to walk a great deal of it when i wanted to run it? i want to quit.

such negativity today...sorry.

and thanks to this video...i now know that tv news reporters across the county can find really stupid people to do interviews...it's not only in OK.

oh kids...

i don't know why but this story just makes me laugh.

Boy, 12, Sticks Gum on $1.5M Painting
Tue Feb 28, 7:40 PM ET

DETROIT - A 12-year-old visitor to the Detroit Institute of Arts stuck a wad of gum to a $1.5 million painting, leaving a stain the size of a quarter, officials say.

The boy was part of a school group from Holly that visited the museum on Friday, officials say. They say he took a piece of Wrigley's Extra Polar Ice gum out of his mouth and stuck it on Helen Frankenthaler's "The Bay," an abstract painting from 1963.

The museum acquired the work in 1965 and says it is worth about $1.5 million.
The gum stuck to the painting's lower left corner and did not adhere to the fiber of the canvas, officials told the Detroit Free Press. But it left a chemical residue about the size of a quarter, said Becky Hart, assistant curator of contemporary art.

The museum's conservation department is researching the chemicals in the gum to decide which solvent to use to clean it. The museum hopes to make the repair in two weeks and will keep "The Bay" on display in the meantime, she said.

"Our expectation is that the painting is going to be fine," Hart said.
Holly Academy director Julie Kildee said the boy had been suspended from the charter school and says his parents also have disciplined him.

"Even though we give very strict guidelines on proper behavior and we hold students to high standards, he is only 12 and I don't think he understood the ramifications of what he did before it happened, but he certainly understands the severity of it now," said Kildee.

Blogging funk and lack of bonding…

I’ve been a slight blogging funk the last few days and honestly and no idea why. I’m feeling better, there is no yelling and crying at home and work is tolerable (or tolable for Amber). So I’m just going to force my way though the funk and blog on the clock.

E pointed out to me this weekend that the new Nano doesn’t travel with me everywhere – like Charlie did. And he’s right. I’m nervous – if it’s not necessary and I don’t plan on using the new Nano – I leave her at home. And this got me thinking I have not bonded with her as I did with Charlie. I don’t giggle over my Nano. When I talk about her I don’t use annoying baby iPod talk. Has the newness worn off? Do I still miss Charlie? Am I forever traumatized by the theft of Charlie? Hmmmm…

So in an effort to grow closer the lady in white – I’ve come up with a name. Before I spout it out – keep in mind – I am an odd person and well that’s just the way it is. So she shall be called Nola. Stop squinting your eyes and forehead with that “what kind of name is Nola” look on your face – I have an explanation. We watched “Hustle and Flow” this weekend and one of the “girls” is named Nola. So yes, I’ve named my Nano after a prostitute. But anyway, so I really liked the movie and am still moved by the characters. They were just normal people who somehow became really messed up and were doing what they thought they needed to do to survive. We are all just trying to survive in one way or another.

But that’s not all. I was tossing this name around last night as I was working out and it dawned on me that it was Mardi Gras and I was listening to Better than Ezra (a great New Orleans product) so it seemed an appropriate name to settle on. Nola – NO, LA – New Orleans, LA. So yeah, to all the downtrodden prostitutes in the world and to the crazy city of New Orleans – Nola says hello and God Bless.

And on that note – I’m giving up soda for Lent. I will once again try to break my dirty addiction.

I’m also going to try to be a happier person. It takes work you know…

I’ve worked out the last couple of days. I’ve attempted to run both days but I swear my legs currently weigh 50lbs each. Geez. They have been hard workouts. But there’s always tomorrow’s workout, just because one is hard doesn’t mean they all will be, right? And it doesn’t mean I’m a big loser. Excuse me, while I give myself a little pep talk.

Happy March 1st