well folks...

i survived my first day. there's some weird, some annoying, and some great things about this place...today was a typical boring first day but i think things will get better tomorrow.

i'll keep you updated.

31 today

happy birthday eddie jones.

the end...

of an era. the era of being a state employee.

sigh.

it's almost like i've been reading a chapter of my life, a fairly unhappy, draining, will it ever end chapter...that just ended quickly. so quickly that i don't think my mind has caught up yet. and i am somewhat confused...i'm relieved, yet nervous. happy, yet disappointed.

disappointed that i couldn't be happy in a job that on paper looks wonderful. disappointed that i couldn't deal with the politics or red tape or the incredibly difficult co-worker and my response to it all. but i just couldn't.

and i wonder...will i ever be happy. e pointed out to me a few weeks back that it's possible i won't like any job...well great...isn't that encouraging and a happy thought for the primary money maker.

anyway, i feel disappointed and somewhat regretful...but not about my decision...maybe just the experience.

i'm typing this thinking...this makes no sense...sorry about the puzzle of thoughts.

anyway, it's the weekend. e's birthday is tomorrow. i'm off on monday and the new adventure starts on tuesday.

a new adventure that will take place 5 minutes from home and will involve lots of casual wear.

happy weekending.

wtf x 10

judge judy makes $30 million a year...i'm without the words to express my feelings.

Oprah tops list of highest paid TV stars
Reuters - Tue Jul 24, 6:13 PM ET

Talk might be cheap, but Oprah is not, topping a list of the highest-paid television stars in the United States.

Oprah Winfrey, host and supervising producer of "The Oprah Winfrey Show," earns an estimated $260 million a year, according to a list in TV Guide magazine's July 23 issue.

Music producer Simon Cowell, the blunt and often contentious British judge of "American Idol," placed a distant second to Winfrey, with $45 million for his role on the Fox network's smash hit talent show and other projects.

Courtroom chief Judge Judy (Judith Sheindlin), CBS News anchor Katie Couric and "Scrubs" actor Zach Braff round out the top five.

The list breaks down star salaries by category -- prime-time TV, daytime, cable and news with a partial listing below: TOP FIVE (all salaries are per year)

Oprah Winfrey ("The Oprah Winfrey Show"): $260 million

Simon Cowell ("American Idol"): $45 million

Judge Sheindlin ("Judge Judy"): $30 million

Katie Couric ("CBS Evening News Anchor"): $15 million

Zach Braff ("Scrubs"): $6.3 million NETWORK PRIME TIME (all salaries are per episode)

William Petersen ("CSI"): $500,000

Charlie Sheen ("Two and a Half Men"): $350,000

Mariska Hargitay ("Law & Order: SVU"): $350,000

Chris Meloni ("Law & Order: SVU"): $350,000

Hugh Laurie ("House"): $300,000

Julia Louis-Dreyfus ("New Adventures of Old Christine"):

$225,000

Ellen Pompeo ("Grey's Anatomy"): $200,000

Eva Longoria ("Desperate Housewives"): $200,000 DAYTIME (all salaries are per year)

Judge Judy: $30 million

Bob Barker: $10 million

Maury Povich (per year plus profits): $7 million

Ellen DeGeneres: $5 million

Jerry Springer: $3 million - 4 million

Tyra Banks: $3.5 million NEWS ANCHORS (all salaries are per year)

Katie Couric ("CBS Evening News" anchor): $15 million

Matt Lauer (NBC "Today" co-anchor): $12 million

Meredith Vieira (NBC "Today" co-anchor): $10 million

i really want to tell you dear blog how...

excited i am about the new job and the dress code.

excited i am to be leaving the old job.

i've gained 10lbs.

i've been exercising and dreaming of a new goal.

the hemotologist made me laugh.

i've been wondering why i haven't done anything creative in a long time.

i'm stressed about money and my recent decision.

i'm always stressed about something.

sometimes i feel conflicted, actually almost always.

i love the farmer's market.

my nephew made a paper airplane out of pizza.

i've been feeling guilty for not seeing my grandparents.

i suck at my photoblog.

i've stopped blogging and wondering why.

i can't seem to get here often.

it somehow has become a burden, instead of a release.

i think too much.

only in oklahoma...

do you see headlines like the following.

18-year-old dies in shooting outside rodeo

By Augie Frost
Staff Writer, Oklahoman
A gang-related shooting after an argument outside a rodeo left one person dead and two others injured Sunday night in northeast Oklahoma City, a police spokesman said Monday.

i love peaches...

you know the ones that grow on trees locally this time of year and you can go buy an overpriced bag (blueberries too). yummmmm....good. you would think a natural fruit product would be a good thing and it is but for some reason i insist on eating them with ice cream. fresh fruit and vanilla ice cream...heaven. now if i could only get a cobbler out of the deal...cursed oven.

something new to look at...

i don't much feel like blogging today but i figured that it would be good to get rid of the "stupid" post.

i do have some big news...i have accepted a new job so now i'm just waiting out my two weeks in higher ed hell.

i'm all pms-ish today so i'll save the details for a later when i have a nice, fun personality.

happy weekending.

vacuous, vapid, obtuse, doltish, dozy, cretinous, wooden-headed, daft, muttonheaded

exactly how i feel today...

stupid |ˈst(y)oōpid| adjective ( -pider, -pidest) lacking intelligence or common sense : I was stupid enough to think she was perfect.
• dazed and unable to think clearly : apprehension was numbing her brain and making her stupid.
• informal used to express exasperation or boredom : she told him to stop messing with his stupid painting. noun informal a stupid person (often used as a term of address) : you're not a coward, stupid!

DERIVATIVES stupidity |st(y)oōˈpiditē| noun stupidly adverb ORIGIN mid 16th cent.: from French stupide or Latin stupidus, from stupere ‘be amazed or stunned.’

Thesaurus
stupid adjective
1 they're rather stupid unintelligent, ignorant, dense, foolish, dull-witted, slow, simpleminded, vacuous, vapid, idiotic, imbecilic, imbecile, obtuse, doltish; informal thick, dim, dimwitted, dumb, dopey, dozy, moronic, cretinous, pea-brained, halfwitted, soft in the head, brain-dead, boneheaded, thickheaded, wooden-headed, muttonheaded, daft. antonym intelligent.
2 that was a really stupid thing to do foolish, silly, unintelligent, idiotic, scatterbrained, nonsensical, senseless, unthinking, ill-advised, ill-considered, unwise, injudicious; inane, absurd, ludicrous, ridiculous, laughable, risible, fatuous, asinine, mad, insane, lunatic; informal crazy, dopey, cracked, half-baked, dimwitted, cockeyed, harebrained, lamebrained, nutty, batty, cuckoo, loony, loopy. antonym sensible.
3 he drank himself stupid into a stupor, into a daze, into oblivion; stupefied, dazed, unconscious. antonym alert.

thanks to the cool apple dictionary for the above information.

question of the day.

why in the world do i wake up at approximately 5:30 a.m. every stinkin' morning? do i get out of bed, no. i have gotten enough sleep, no. do i ever get up at 5:30 a.m., no. so why in the world does my body insist on this rountine - i open my eyes, think to myself "what time is it," think back to myself "i bet it's 5:30am," roll over, look at clock, curse at the numbers i see.

if i were a disciplined, smart girl i would start getting out of bed at 5:30 and exercise.

looking at the history of my morning workouts, is this likely, no.

happy 5th of july.

why george?

why do you continue to disappoint me? i like to think that you are actually a good guy...i want the god-fearing, do good, i didn't know the truth rhetoric to be true. but time and time again you disappoint me and despite the fact that you should have hordes of intelligent people around you...you continue to make stupid choices. couldn't scooter spend a little time in the pin? just a little. paris had to and she didn't even commit perjury and out a CIA agent.

i realize that there's more to this than a simple commuting of sentence...at least that's hillary's take and that all presidents do this sort of thing but i don't care.

you just had to go and rain on my independence day, didn't you? you and mother nature.

this message brought to you by cynical c.

thanks to my sister...

i have this cute kid to play with.