i need help.

my name is c and i'm an addict. 

i had a computer addiction prior to my new mobile laptop.  the problem has gotten worse.  is there a program for this? 

mark it off my worry list...

i just got off the phone with the employment commission and...

they ruled in my favor. woo-hoo. THE BAD PEOPLE LOST AND I HAVE SOME MORE CASH. yippee! i'm equally excited about both of those things.

really i'm so happy to have this past me. for now...i suppose they could appeal and if they do then i will continue to fight them even if i have the new gig and don't need payments.

THEY ARE BAD PEOPLE AND I WANT TO SPREAD THE WORD.

now i need to consider my revenge plan...

sigh.

i'm not sure if it was a good vacation or not but i did make an honest effort to relax and not worry this weekend.  actually today i had a difficult time trying to get out of holiday/vacation mode...but let's be honest, i don't have a job so it's not really that important that i snap out of it. 

in typical fashion for the jones'...we've had a small issue come up.  e has had some back problems off and on for years. it rears it's ugly head every 6 months or so.  well it decided to rear it's head christmas day. fortunately for him he had a stash of pain killers to get him through christmas day but today he has struggled a lot.  i'm not sure he's getting any better. double unfortunately for him, his only two days off were yesterday and today and they have been completely shot. and triple unfortunately for us, he is our primary breadwinner right now and he can't work.  

hopefully my unemployment will be reinstated soon...i received my paperwork over the weekend and the bad people are saying that i was fired because of my job performance and attitude.  they also reported that after i was fired they found that i had been using my computer for personal business.  oddly the person who wrote the letter stating that i was fired for the above reasons, also wrote and signed my reference letter.  i've turned in all of my paperwork and it seems very cut and dry to me but i'm not settling into the idea that it's resolved yet.  

but i am happy to report that i am slated to start a temporary job at the oklahoma house of representatives on january 7... after a power struggle between the democrats and republicans over my mad skills.  it's a long story that you will have to call me to hear...let's just say that's what sent me on my vacation. 

new topic. i've been thinking a lot this weekend about my mental state these days.  and i'm beginning to understand myself a bit better...isn't that what these rough experiences are good for after all?  i think i've always thought of myself as one that is prone to depression but i also think that i really suffer from some sort of anxiety issue.  i'm sure they are both linked, depression and anxiety...i just never thought of myself as suffering from an anxiety issue but the last few months have taught me otherwise.  at this point, counseling isn't really an option and meds are a last resort so i've checked out some books from the library that will hopefully offer me some insight.  often times i just need a little prompting to get my brain working to get through issues. 

so there you go. 

and lastly, my husband in true fashion did not follow our christmas rules and spent way too much money on my gifts.  i'm happy and somewhat conflicted to report that i am watching letterman and typing this long winded blog on my new little macbook. christie has gone mobile. 

happy thursday folks...the new year is almost here. 

i'm going on vacation.

a friend suggested today that i needed to go on vacation and honestly i would give my right arm to be somewhere else, away from my life. i'm tired, overwhelmed by my worry and just feeling very, very down. i wish i could just make my life stop for a day...to mentally catch up with the last few months, to pause the worry and self doubt, to simply feel a small bit of control of my life.

oddly enough i'm not a beach person but right now that seems like a very lovely place to be. warm. relaxing. a nice place to put my life on hold for a day or two.

unfortunately there is no beach in my future so here's my plan. between now and the big day...i'm going to try and step out of the past few months. i'm going to avoid the computer. avoid money issues. avoid the vast amount of uncertainty in my life right now. and i'm going to read, watch some movies, do something creative and bake some goodies.

merry christmas friends.

just a little help...

yesterday after interviews with two reps...i've been offered jobs by two reps. great. they were both very likeable and very different. so what am i doing? instead of recognizing how cool is that someone actually wants to hire me (because i've been a little down on my mad skills lately), i'm completely stressed about who i want to work with. i'm such a pleaser and don't want to upset anyone (people who i barely know)...yes i understand the absurdity of this. anyway, i also have an interview this a.m. for a state job that pays pretty decent...so then i begin the cash, no cash, live on the edge, avoid full-time clothes dilemma.

after i received my two job offers i said out loud...can you please just give me one choice...just one option. that will make my life a little less complicated and stressful (note my post from a couple of days ago...making choices, dealing with stressful situations=christie in a tizzy).

and i finally got the results of my typing test...63wpm no errors.

hot dog.

after 40 minutes on hold...

today i found out that yes, "those" people are appealing my claim for unemployment. they are claiming i was fired. i was told that someone would be assigned to investigate the matter, they would call the employer and find the reason for the appeal and then contact me for a response. it will take about three weeks to resolve and in the meantime, i won't receive any benefits. if they find that i am still eligible i will receive back pay for the weeks i missed.

so yeah. they suck.

i'm feeling fairly calm about the whole deal, not too freaked out about the money yet. i'm fully aware that could change in an instant though.

i have a couple of interviews at the house of reps tomorrow. and on wednesday i have an interview at the insurance department. honestly i'm not sure what i'm doing and have settled into the idea that i have very little control of this area. would i love to dive into the self employed, not so permanent employment...yes. do i really want to head back to a state agency, that i worked so hard to escape...no. do i have any control of my life...no. have any of my plans worked out in the last few months...no.

so i'm really just taking the spaghetti approach to my life...throw it at the wall and hope that something sticks. and if somethings sticks...i'll worry then.

just a little freaked out...

tonight when i filed my unemployment for the week online i got a message that stated something like "you're claim will not be paid this week because of a pending separation issue." and i'm completely in freak out/ worry mode.

should i be? no. but this is what i do...irrationally freak out and worry about things that are not worthy of worry. e thinks it's gotten worse as i've gotten older...the inability to just let things go until there is something substantial to worry about.

part of me knows that i should put this worry aside for the evening, go to sleep and call the unemployment agency tomorrow. ask some questions, find out what the problem is and then find a rational response. this part of me also knows that the pending separation issue will likely be easily resolved.

but then there's the crazy part of me...that is convinced that "those" people are appealing my unemployment and i'm going to have to deal with them...again. and that just annoys the crap of me and makes my stomach feel all jittery and nervous. i want them behind me...in the past.

it seems like my ability to deal rationally with stressful, uncomfortable or in some cases completely ridiculous things has escaped me. and i don't like it one bit. but luckily i have the small rational streak running through me that constantly reminds me of how i should be acting...nothing like adding a little more confusion to the craziness.

what everyone wants for their christmas tree...

you can get your very own obama christmas tree ornament.

so i don't appear to be endorsing any candidate...i offer you some alternatives to your presidential paraphernalia (i would like to note that i had no idea how to spell that word and am not sure i've ever had to spell it in all of my 32 years).

over at the clinton camp you can get one of these...













or you might prefer the foam mitt...















or the rudy rhinestone pin...











and i've saved what i thought would be the best for last...but i'm sadly disappointed. ron paul folks are everywhere or at least their big fat signs are all over the place but their "goods" are really pretty standard and boring. the best i could come up with were choose liberty wristbands...that's so lance armstrong 1995.

shopocalypse 2007...

i just thought this was fun...



it's video day at my house.

go see this...a fun, quirky little story.

a couple of realizations...

1. as i made my way around post ice apocalypse okc...i decided that many, many drivers need to return to drivers ed. no one knows what to do at a stop sign...no one waits their turn...no one follows the to your right rule. electricity and traffic lights need to be restored because i'm afraid there's going to be some serious road rage if not.

2. as i was perusing the liqour store today looking for some hard cider (thanks mel for the tip)...i realized i could finally put kalua in my coffee at 10am...i don't have to hide in a flask conveniently shaped like a stapler. i've somehow missed this beautiful benefit of unemployment.

and for those of you worried that i'm on the road to alcoholville...i still have some rasberry vodka ...i'm just moving on to the warm beverages for the winter.

stay warm out there...or at least try to get warm because i hear snow terror 2007 is quickly approaching.

you may or may not know...

that i'm sort of a christmas nerd. every year we have christmas tree day that always involves going and getting a tree and eating mazzio's (it's a long standing tradition that started with rings and wings). we always go look at lights. there are christmas movie nights.

but we're super nerds when it comes to christmas music. we have a huge collection and generally will listen to it conisistently through the month.

anyway, i out myself to tell you that i've bought two christmas cds this year that i love...

an oldie and my new favorite. i could potentially listen to this year round...very relaxing.













i generally steer clear of this guy because he's just a little too indie for me but i was intrigued by this album (a mixture of originals, christmas tunes and old hymns). i'm pleasantly surprised.

ice apocalypse 2007

wowza...this has been a crazy few days. we lost power, got power, lost power, got power...we were down for about 12 hours total but it eventually stayed on for good. there is a very special vulnerability that comes with no electricity. both of our parents are down and both of e's brothers...i feel pretty lucky to come out of this unscathed. unfortunately a couple of trees in my yard have taken a beating.













































but i must admit the ice was pretty...and please notice our obnoxious sized lights on our house.

other than the ice drama not much has been going on. nothing on the job front. i've been doing a little freelance stuff. i really want to bake some cookies but need a plan to get rid of them. i'm slowly finishing up shopping. my wrapping is caught up. i continue struggling to find some structure in this unemployed madness.

wow.

i've been quiet this week.

things are good. i'm trying to find some structure in my unemployed status...which is harder than it might seem.

today i finally made it to a 9am aerobics class and i'm wondering why i don't participate in classes more often...it's more entertaining, you're less likely to quit early and it's a good workout. i'm pretty sure i can feel my muscles getting sore right now. my goal is to get up at a decent time hit a class (aerobics or water aerobics) and come home and get some stuff done.

the echo is home, i still don't have a job and we put some obnoxious light on our house this year...good times.

by the way, has your mother called to warn you about the impending storm...she has me all paranoid and i feel the need to go to the store. wood, water, non perishable food items...ice storm 2007 is on it's way.

happy weekending.

nooooooooooo...

so today i'm walking through target looking at some dress pants...(quick tangent)

because  i have an interview tomorrow at the state house of representatives and honestly i'm not sure if any of my dress clothes will currently fit me and i didn't have the heart to face it...because i'm having a good week and just couldn't bear it today.  (back to original thought)

anyway, i'm strolling along and pick up some wide leg pants and crap on stick...they are pleated. pleated as in 1999 pleated...i actually spoke to the woman standing beside me...i couldn't hold it in...i said, are these really pleated because i thought pleated were out.  and she said, me too and they're out for me...i'm not buying them. 

is this another fashion rewind that is going to force me to date myself...because i'm never going back to skinny or pleated pants.

wow.  i'm in an uproar about this...can you hear me roaring? 

anyway, tomorrow at the house.  my unemployment is good to go (fingers crossed). the tree is up.  the echo should be home on wednesday. i'm feeling pretty good these days. now if i could just avoid eating the dreaded cookies in my kitchen.

at least it's only rain...

look at today last year...

i was also gearing up for the trip to nyc...what a difference a year makes! now i'm gearing up for my trip to unemployment office...i say all of this with a slight smile.

it's gonna be ok...

at least i think so...today i'm feeling a lot better about things. or at least i've been able to find some good that can come out of all of this. which i think is what has caused me to be so down lately...i'm generally ok with change and bumps as long as i can turn them into a positive in my life. the last few weeks i have been unable to find any positive...just more crap.

but after a conversation last night i think i can see some good...e and i have been in a transition time for quite some time. the past five years have been a very exciting, interesting and frustrating adventure but one we both realize needs to wrap up or at least transition into something else...whatever that means. and good or bad all this crap over the last few months is forcing us down a different path...a path that we've been hesitant to change.

i anticipate the next few months are going to suck. money is going to be tight. uncomfortable decisions are going to have to be made. change will have to be embraced. but i think in the end we will be happier and skipping down our new path.

so in the meantime, i'm trying to conjure up some christmas cheer. limit my worrying. keep it all perspective. and remember life always works itself out.

and i've received word that i passed my clerical test. thank goodness...wouldn't that have been a hoot.

happy weekending.

super cool...

that's what i think of this web site...

hangin' in there...

so it's thursday and i'm back at the plumbers...tomorrow is my last day. and i'm glad. it's boring and very frustrating.

yesterday i stayed home and did some job hunting work...i have applied for a six month position as a legislative assistant for the state house of representatives. not my typical fare but something that sounded different and very interesting. anyway, yesterday i had to go take a clerical test which involved typing and a scantron test that was very much like a standardized test in school. read this paragraph and answer the questions...which i still read the questions first and then skim the copy. if you have four pencils and your dog eats two and then you buy 8 more how many do you have? and then the questions that you aren't quite sure there is a true right answer for...if someone calls and complains the proper response is a, b, c or d. and both a and c seem like appropriate responses. anyway, that was my yesterday along with a visit to a temp agency that really annoyed me.

in the midst of my work search yesterday i had lunch with some pals and they suggested unemployment again. and after pondering on it a bit...i decided to do a little more research and see if i can file. and i can. and i did.

as far as i can tell, i qualify and should receive benefits starting in a week or so. i'm not sure how this plumbing job fits into the mix and honestly without taxes being paid on my income i don't think it does. and if it does become an issue, i was hired as a temporary employee so benefits should kick in, just as this is wrapping up.

now i just wait. and hopefully my worry level will diminish some.

and maybe i will start sleeping again.

lots of lovely, lovely things...

i'm pretty sure this is why god has avoided giving me lots of cash during my time on this earth...i would just buy bunches and bunches of these pretty things. 

i'm really trying to get into this christmas thing because it's coming and i better find some christmas joy...but i'm just beat down.  beat down i tell you.

the echo has just been hanging out at the dealership since last friday and today i made the call to start the major repair.  and it's going to run us around four grand...and i don't even know what to say...other than i'm just beat down. 

the funny thing is the car trouble really came out of left field...i love my car. it's been great.  no problems and bam...a bad engine.  

i just need a break.  i can deal with the money issues, the occasional rear-ending, losing a job and a mirror but i need them to be spread out a bit...

beat down that's what i am.  and i think i'm getting sick which seems like something that would happen when you're beat down.  i think it's a sinus infection and i'm on the self-treatment war path...

happy wednesday. 

the power of apple...

i found this interesting.

on the road again...

just can't wait to get on the road again

(everyone sing)

goin' places that i've never been

seein' things that i may never see again

oh i can't wait to get on the road again

so here's the deal...on thanksgiving my car started acting funny and strange lights came on.  on friday i was told that i need a new engine.  yes, a new engine. 

i'm not sure on the details because we found this out late friday afternoon and haven't had time to ask a lot of questions (that will come tomorrow a.m.) but $4500 was mentioned.  my guess is we can find a cheaper solution but that it will still be in the thousands of dollars.  

my car isn't paid off.  

i don't have a job. 

i've cried a lot this weekend. 

we have pretty much sat around the house this weekend in a serious funk...i don't want to be social and i could pretty much stick christmas in a box and forget about it. 

i have my dad on the case and i will be talking to the dealership and my personal mechanic tomorrow so hopefully i will have more details and better news. 

everyone cross your fingers. 

one of the few redeeming things...

i don't really care much for winter. there are only a few things that i look forward to...and this is one.















today was not the greatest day...honestly it was quite crappy and possibly takes the cake on the plethora of crappy days i've had over the last couple of months. i can only hope it's the end of my dark cloud of crap. i'm sure there will be more on this to come...right now i can't deal with it.

but on a lighter and what the hell note...when i arrived at work today only my boss, one co-worker and an overwhelming pot smell were there. yes, my co-workers were smoking pot at 9am at the place i am working.

i really am about to go off the deep end...i can't keep track of the weirdness in my life right now. i think i should start officially documenting it...i suppose that's what this is.

hugs and kisses.

happy thanksgiving.

today i am thankful for...

my new oven that allowed me to make this tasty mini pumpkin treat.

my husband with whom i get into all sort of shenanigans with...and for this i am so grateful. our life will never be boring.

my ability to step out of the box and walk away from a perfectly safe situation...into a surprisingly not so great situation...and to come out of it fairly unscathed.

you, my lovely friends who send me encouragement, tell me when to stop whining and put up with my incessant need to ramble on this blog.

happy thanksgiving.

one day...

me and kermit will hang out in front of macy's together.

in the meantime he's just hanging out waiting for the parade.

the deed is done...

i gave my notice to my underpaying temporary job. it was a good thing and now it's time to move on. i will be here until next Friday and I will likely keep working on some stuff from home after that.

so now what do i do and i how do i keep myself from freaking the h-e-double hockey sticks out?

i have a couple of freelance things going on right now but i need to find something with some consistent cash. i figure next week i will start my new search...because everyone knows that no one is working this week or hiring for that matter.

today i went to a thai place down on the south side. doesn't even compare to thai kitchen...i'm slightly disappointed but luckily i had my tasty cookies to take away the sting.

all quiet on the job front...

sorta. actually i was just thinking about the book "all quiet on the western front" the other day and promptly turned it into a blog title in my head. anyway, did you ever read that book? for some reason when i was in high school, i thought i needed to be very academic. little did i know that i would be 32 working for next to nothing in a plumbing company...i digress. but really i didn't have serious plan for college (like michael cress, who went to harvard)...i just figured i needed to go somewhere and didn't matter where. but i still took those horrible academic degree classes...when i could have just taken regular people classes. anyway again, my senior year i took ap english and we had to read a bunch of classic books...like 20 or something and tested every other week. i really only remember three books. "all quiet on the western front" because it saddened me greatly and the title haunts me. "of mice and men" because it was so short and everyone saved it for the "last minute, oh crap i didn't read a book yet" week. also every once in a while "i like to touch soft things" pops in my head. another book i remember that i attempted to read was "the scarlet letter," after reading the first chapter three times and not understanding any of it i decided it was not the book for me.

this is what i gained from ap senior english at choctaw high school. thanks a lot mrs. mullins.

hmph.

but really not much is going on regarding the job hunt. i'm still at the plumbing place and i think i need to quit but i don't have a back up plan and it completely freaks me out. but i have to remind myself i can find a job on the north side making just as much money...but it's still become a security blanket for me. there's lot of other issues like taxes, feeling under appreciated and wanting to do some other things but the first paragraph wore me out...so if you want to chat about the my plumbing dilemma...give me a call.

no really...i'm lonely these days.

i think i'm going to give my temporary notice tomorrow.

just a few other notes:

i made these tonight...i've eaten two and i feel like a buttery blob. oh but they are tasty. who cares about the crap load of butter. (note to self: you really, really, really need to go the gym tomorrow)

doesn't this look fun. i really want to play.

my mac was sick but he's all better now. happy sigh.

pretty things

if santa asks...

something pretty

this is the first installment of my new topic called "pretty things." i read too many blogs and have too many pretty things to share. click on the photo to see the source of prettiness.

i heard a rumor...

it's true. really. i heard it this morning.

create your very own custom snowflake.

oh...

the memories.

why? why? why? why? why? why? why?

must everything be so difficult. replacing an oven...seems simple enough. not really. replacing a dishwasher by a professional...seems easy enough. not so much.

and the even bigger question...why do i get so frustrated by these things. why can't i just let them go...they will get resolved. nothing is bleeding, no one is dying, nothing horrible or even bad is happening. i just can't get a simple task accomplished...this is why i avoid home improvement, replacement of things...it just stresses the crap out of me.

in the middle of our brief oven fiasco last night...i said holy hell while on the phone with my mother. she gasped, mentioned washing my mouth out and seemed completely mortified that i said hell. i told her that i could have said something much worse but that didn't appease her in the least.

now i'm without a permanent, full-time job and i curse...she's got some seriously good ammo for the holidays now.

oh crap.

today i heard an ad on the radio that started off with "now that we are entering the weight gain season..."

and my first thought was...oh crap, what season have i been in?

i'm screwed.

dazed and confused...

disclaimer: this blog contains lots of rambling that may or may not make sense to anyone (even me).

i'm not quite a freaked out today as i was on sunday but the panic hasn't completely subsided. and interestingly enough i've realized that i'm not freaked out by what i thought i was freaked out by. you would think that money, security and my overall stability would be what have me in panic. but actually i think i'm just more confused than anything.

confused by what i should do, want to do, need to do...confused by what i should be doing right this minute. working for less than my worth but earning a consistent check. trying some other temp job...that might not earn me money consistently. i'm just not sure about any of the decisions i'm making these days.

but this isn't unusual. lately i've begun to recognize something about myself. i get overwhelmed and confused about a lot of things big, medium and completely insignificant. what to wear. where to eat. which toaster to buy. where to work.

i think this is probably just a symptom of my overthinking everything. i've always got 12,000 things running through my head and sometimes i just can't make sense out of any of them and then i just get overwhelmed and confused.

and there are so many things to take into consideration. everyone's happiness. my happiness. the cost. will there be regret. what if it's a crappy meal which equals a wasted meal.

it just goes on and on.

so anyway, i say all this to say that i'm confused by the options before me. i have a wide open path (or at least for a few months) and i'm completely freaked by the choices i need to make.

i used to feel as if i had some sort of guiding force...we'll call the force god. i knew things in my gut. knew if major change was coming. knew what to choose. not little stuff but major stuff...my gut offered me an answer. but then over the last five years my gut completely stopped helping me. my guess it has something to do with my overwhelming anger at god. my husband was traveling, i was lonely and depressed, my life was at a complete standstill and i was angry at god for it all...we stopped talking. i tried. i wanted to hear something but i couldn't. or chose not to.

until the last couple of months. i knew i was going to loose that horrible job...i knew it. it didn't surprise me in the least. and now my gut says that i need to hang out...not worry about a full-time "real job" just yet. i'm hoping that means that something awesome is going to come along.

so there's my pickle. ride this wave for awhile or be practical. both of which are parts of my personality. i suppose the question is...which won will win and how much stress will it cause me along the way.

yes...yes i am thirtysomething...

we bought a new oven and dishwasher over the weekend.

they are being delivered tomorrow.

and i am so flippin' excited.

today...

is the first day that i've really freaked out about this job thing...not a good thing. i'm on the borderline of a complete panic.

and all i want is a cupcake.

wtf????!?!?!?!

have rudy's mafia friends gotten to pat? has pat made a deal with the devil to syndicate the 700 club until the second coming?

i'm so confused.

Pat Robertson backs Giuliani's bid
By LIBBY QUAID, Associated Press Writer 11 minutes ago

Televangelist Pat Robertson, founder of the Christian Coalition, endorsed Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani on Wednesday.

"It is my pleasure to announce my support for America's Mayor, Rudy Giuliani, a proven leader who is not afraid of what lies ahead and who will cast a hopeful vision for all Americans," Robertson said during a news conference with Giuliani in Washington.

The former New York mayor backs abortion rights and gay rights, positions that put him in conflict with conservative GOP orthodoxy, and has been trying to persuade evangelical conservatives like Robertson to overlook their differences on those issues.

Evangelicals have split in their support for the leading Republican candidates. Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback, a favorite of Christian conservatives who dropped out of the race last month, endorsed fellow Sen. John McCain of Arizona on Wednesday. Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney recently announced that Paul Weyrich and Bob Jones III were on board with his candidacy.

Asked about the Robertson endorsement, McCain, at a news conference with Brownback in Dubuque, Iowa, said: "Every once in a while, I'm left speechless. This is one of those times."
Giuliani is best known to voters for leading New York in the aftermath of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. Shortly after 9/11, Robertson released a statement in which he said the attacks occurred because Americans had insulted God and lost the protection of heaven by allowing abortion and "rampant Internet pornography."

Robertson made no mention of his differences with Giuliani on social issues in Wednesday's statement.

"Rudy Giuliani took a city that was in decline and considered ungovernable and reduced its violent crime, revitalized its core, dramatically lowered its taxes, cut through a welter of bureaucratic regulations, and did so in the spirit of bipartisanship which is so urgently needed in Washington today," Robertson said.

Robertson, who unsuccessfully ran for president in 1988, founded the Christian Broadcasting Network, the Christian Coalition and Regent University in Virginia Beach.

Also Wednesday, Giuliani said he asked two GOP friends in Congress, Rep. Peter King of New York and Sen. Jeff Sessions of Alabama, to introduce bills to keep states from giving licenses or similar identification to illegal immigrants.

The Democratic front-runner, Hillary Clinton, was criticized after a televised debate last week when she hedged an answer on whether she supported New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer's effort to grant licenses to illegal immigrants. Her aides say she generally supports the idea in the absence of comprehensive immigration reform.

365 more days...

of this presidential hoopla.

dude...

this is the coolest thing ever...a USB Heating Blanket. currently it really isn't all that useful to me...but generally in office buildings i freeze year round...if only i had a real job, with a permanent USB slot for a handy little blanket.

and maybe one of these. or one of these.

and three cupcakes later...

i thought what am i doing? what am i doing eating three cupcakes and not having a real job? i know...gaining weight and getting poorer and poorer.

yes, it's been a long week and i'm feeling a little down and out.

anyway, i saw this awhile back and thought it was super fun. a different piece of cake for whatever size you need (or rather whatever mood you're in).

is it friday yet?

not exactly sure why but this week seems excrutiatingly long. excrutiatingly i tell you.

i think it has something to do with a little pms which causes me to take a normal situation and somehow completely blow it out of proportion...does this happen to anyone else? but i am a little stressed and worried. which is interesting because the thing that makes me so stressed and worried also makes me excited. excited for change, adventure. i've always been one to not want to get tied up in money and things and here's a perfect opportunity to avoid the ties of lots of money. we can try for very little.

anyway, i'm just trying to keep in all in perspective and not completely freak out this week (and eat too much fast food).

a couple of interesting things. while e was driving the band's van #2 yesterday a random piece of equipment smashed into a rear window...shattering. today i purchased a pad printer, which will allow us to print customized pens, cups, letteropens, stressballs, the list is endless. the hope is this will contribute to our blujones business. so do you need any custom pens?

i'm still working at the plumbing job and it's ok. i'm 99% sure it isn't going to turn into anything permanent...not that i'm not wanted by some but others are just super cheap and i'm apparently a little too costly. those darn skills will cost you everytime. it's a little boring these days and the guys i'm working for are clueless as to what i need to make things work. it's just frustrating to have to continually explain that i need good photos to make this work. anyway, i'm trying to figure out a transition into something else.

today i called about substitute teaching and scheduling an appointment with an advisor at UCO's grad school.

i've settled into the idea that if i don't find a permanent something in the next couple of weeks, i won't find anything until january. the holidays are going to put a kink in my life in many ways. i'll apologize in advance for your cheap, crapy gift.

i think that's enough for now...i had some ramblings going through my head about god, prayer and my life going to pot this month but i think i'll save that for another day.

happy halloween.



(i opted for a yellowish/white pumpkin this year and i think i baffled the cashier at homeland. he kept mentioning the cheaper, orange pumpkins outside and i kept mentioning that i wanted a fun white one. an odd exchange. )

wowza...

just a list...

- someone hacked my ebay account last night and bid and won a crap load of stuff...errr.

- i should be receiving my final paycheck this week...i'm anxious to get it. these people aren't the most ethical folks i've ever met so sadly i don't trust them completely to pay me.

- i'm fairly stressed about the job situation today...i'm chalking it up to a case of pms.

- i've been walking and eating a lot this past week...at least they're a team.

- i found out this weekend that my personal hell likely involves drunks and country music in one place.

- i'm super tired today.

- i heart ginger thins.

just another skeleton...

i'm pretty sure these videos don't do the event justice but i thought i would share. i also have pictures coming soon.






rumor is they will be playing in okc on new year's eve...for those of you who are interested.

fight the bitterness, bitterness is bad...

tonight i saw one of my old co-workers from the "not so green" engineering, consulting firm. since my departure i've had a spy relay some info to me but for the most part i've heard very little...mostly because the spy got fired a week after me.

well, tonight i heard a story that truly seals the deal...those people are bad. bad, bad people.

so the story goes, when it was announced to the staff that I was no longer with the company it was because I spent hours playing solitaire. seriously, the staff was informed that I wasn't there any longer because I played solitaire too much. this is funny for many reasons.

1. i was told it wasn't me...it was them.
2. i got a severance package
3. i have received a reference letter
4. i never play solitaire. ever. read popsugar sure...solitaire no.
5. who gets fired for playing solitaire?

but i want to know...why would they lie about this? why wouldn't they just tell the truth.

so today i despise them. bitterness abounds. and i want to write them a nasty letter...not because they did this but because they are crappy people. crappy people that made me pray at the company picnic and do jobs for their church.

my friend, who will remain nameless and is mostly very laid-back, has a list. a list of people who do her wrong...and at some point she does something to pay them back. an anonymous gesture to even things up or at least make her feel better.

in one case she purchased a bunch of smutty books and magazines and wrote "this book belongs to (person she doesn't like), please call xxx-xxxx" in each of them. She then distributed them in places like the bus station.

in another case, she mailed a box of live crickets.

so i've been pondering if i could ever do anything like that...and this recent story makes me think yes. i'm looking for ideas.

happy wednesday.

just an okie from muskogee...

i'm spent so i'm not going to stay long. but today i went to muskogee because my boss wanted me to meet his boss (aka dad). he thinks he can convince his dad to hire me full-time and pay me more cash...i have my doubts. anyway, it was outing to meet new people and get paid to travel for the day.

anyway, it was rainy and cold, i had to drive, i didn't get to eat lunch and i chauffeured two koreans around. yes koreans, as in businessmen from seoul, south korea. something about manufacturing plumbing tools. thankfully one of them spoke wonderful english and we had a delightful conversation on the return trip from muskogee.

but seriously, how weird is that? i didn't mind the chauffeuring around so much but there was a seriously lack of planning on the part of the goofballs i'm working with. yeah, go ahead and send your important business partners with your temporary, seriously underpaid employee, driving a toyota echo...seriously do that...sounds like a genius idea to me.

but really the conversation was interesting.

did you know that there are 50 million people in seoul? and that south korea has the third largest amount of troops in iraq after the uk and the us?

and the fun continues...

today i went to that cool car wash place that you drive through and get to vacuum for free. about half way through the car wash...i lost a mirror. yes, something (i'm guessing a big piece of washing equipment) managed to snap my passenger side mirror right off my car.

ahahahahhhhhhhhhh...that's all i can say about that right now.

except my father did always warn about those car washes...

a streak of bad luck for me you say...

but then again yesterday we went to the river (it's a long story that involved e's family and some river near ada) and i stumbled on one cool arrowhead and two arrowhead pieces. granted if your family isn't into that sort of thing than you wouldn't understand the significance of finding one and how you don't normally stumble on to 3 of them...

but i somehow did.

and then...

we were rearended.

and my first thought was...crap i don't have a real job.

and then the punk pulled in a parking lot and started running.

and then we pulled around the corner and saw the stupid black civic pulling out of the said parking lot.

and then we got the license plate and called 911.

and then we talked to a nice police lady.

and then i sighed. and thought it could have been a whole lot worse because we are fine and my bumper is only a little scratched up.

but i'm still sighing.

i really need to stop sighing so much.

in case you missed it...

oh my...

i know this isn't for everyone but i'm so excited! you kc folks should come down for this.

so today...

i'm sitting at my make-shift desk, with a dog laying at my feet, in a plumbing supply distributor on south shields, typing part numbers into a $7000 laptop that isn't a mac and i wonder...how did i get here? how did this happen? less than three months ago i was a state employee, overpaid, receiving good benefits and unhappy.

and then i thought...i don't know exactly know why this happened but i'm happy today.

and then i lost track of the right female elbow part number and had to refocus at the task at hand.

my so called bizarre life...

i swear my forehead is tagged with a throw weird, bizarre situations at me sign.

i don't have a lot of time for details but i started my temp graphic design job today. it doesn't pay very well and it's on the southside (you have to say that with attitude) but the people are nice and very welcoming. so welcoming that i'm not sure they realize i am temporary. i've been asked to go to a meeting with their web designer, i've been set-up in their online meeting/review system, the length of my stay has been mentioned on a couple of occasion (along with my previous salary and how the company could afford a full-time designer)...it's true this would be a good turn of events if it came to fruition. but seriously, do i just ask for this stuff? because sometimes it's good and sometimes it's bad...and i would like to learn how to control it.

i must go to bed soon...i've gone from a 5 minute commute to a crosstown 40 minute commute. sweet dreams.

some seriously bad luck...

someone asked me today if i've ever been let go from a job before. i think she asked me this to see if i had any experience coping with this sort of drama. and unfortunately i have...too many times. i think i have problem...it's called some seriously bad job luck.

here's a brief history of my job experience, dating back to 1991.

Beachler's IGA - Worked there all through high school. Unfortunately just as graduation occured my store was closed and I lost my plush part-time cashier job.

Spencer State Bank - First professional job thanks to all that cashier experience. Freshman year of college. Left for another bank - more money.

Union State Bank - Paid more and was closer to college. Left this position when I moved to Edmond to attend UCO.

Liberty Bank - I was working here part-time when E and I got married. I was going to school but didn't know what I wanted to do so I decided to get a full-time job. And here's where it gets interesting.

Nelson, Sherwood and Brown - Personal injury attorneys. Nice, huh. I had been there three months when I was told that Sherwood was bailing out and the firm would be closing. I had two weeks.

Clemons, Pate, LeBron and Wolfe - Hell disguised as a personal injury law firm. Mean horrible people, especially the Wolfe part. I hated it but needed a job. And I hated it and I'm sure it showed. After six months I was told to clean the library and then promptly fired in the said library.

PEC - A small family business that hired me because I faxed my resume from a church (or at least that was a huge selling point for me). Crazy family but I learned a lot there. And they let me work part-time while I finished my degree. After three and a half years was let go because they needed to cut costs. Ah...costs. So thanks to some friendly advice and encourgement from a co-worker I was on unemployment for quite some time.

E+A - Good job, good ending. The first good in a long run of bad endings.

OSRHE - Annoying job, good ending. Somehow doesn't seem so bad now (that doesn't mean I want to go back!).

GW whatever those crappy people call their crappy company - let go because of some lame reason.

Ok, so do you see this...I have had just as many bad endings to jobs as good. I think I need something - counseling, career advice, prayer...and wow I've had a lot of jobs. When my mother implied I was a job hopper...I think she was right.

But really I'm doing pretty good with everything. I've told my mother. She was nicer than expected (the job hopper comment was a month or so back) but I'm anticipating she will save her negativity until the holidays. I've picked up a temporary graphic design job for next week. A plumbing materials catalog...exciting huh? I figure it's some good practice, a little material to add to my list of work experience and some cash on top of my "getting paid to not work" cash that will help us get through the next few months until I figure out what I want to do.

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I have some lovely kind friends.

Happy weekending.

random e-mail...

so at some point jack o' lanterns became comparable to christians. very interesting.



Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin. God lifts you up, takes you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. He opens you up, touches you deep inside and scoops out all the yucky stuff-- including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc. Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside you to shine for all the world to see. This was passed on to me from another pumpkin. Now, it is your turn to pass it to a pumpkin. I liked this enough to send it to all the pumpkins in my patch. Happy Fall!

i'm going to apologize in advance...

i realize this is a conversation i should probably have with some of you out there in person...the handful of you that read this crappy little blog...but i'm going to post it here. because honestly i'm not quite ready to deal with the awkwardness of it all...it just makes my head swim and dread come over my soul. dread. it's kind of like when my sister sent me and some of her closest friends an e-mail to announce that she was pregnant...this of course was awkward for her because she was seperated and discussing divorce with her then husband. thank goodness it was his baby because that could have been a billion times more awkward.

anyway, back to my news. on monday afternoon i was "dismissed" from my job. yes, this is the job that i was super excited about and thought would be a great fit for me. wow. i missed the boat on that one. it's a long story and i will be happy to discuss it with you in more detail...in person of course. i was told that they (the crazy husband and wife owners) had decided to take their marketing in a different direction (oddly enough, i was a new direction) and were going to start outsourcing marketing, writing, and graphic design needs. wow. cost saving was mentioned. i was given the line "it's our issue, nothing to do with you. double wow. but on a positive note i was given a month's severance pay. which is good but conveniently timed so that i can't file for unemployment.

but really they were crazy. other employees were lovely, team players but the owners were crazy. they were chaotic, unprofessional, cheap, unethical and people i really didn't like. and honestly, i think they didn't like me and that's the main reason i'm gone. i was calm, organized and refused to be a part of their chaos. another positive note, i have gained some more bizarre stories to add to my previous post.

luckily i knew this was coming. not literally but i knew it in my gut. i had been researching some options if it did happen and wasn't the least bit shocked when he gave me his lame speech.

so i'm doing ok. i'm sad. sad because i really wanted this job to work out and i feel like i tried (but they didn't). sad that i took a risk that completely blew up in my face. sad because i have to figure out what to do next which involves selling myself to another potentially crappy employer. insert my lengthy sigh here.

this has forced me to realize that i'm really not happy doing the job i've been doing. it's entertaining about one day a week and the rest of the time i'm just wishing i was doing something else. i'm not sure what that something else is but i'm going to try and look for it. as long as i can afford it. for the time being i'm going to try some temp stuff...talk to an agency, consider substitute teaching, beg for graphic design work to build my portfolio, etc. i'm just tired of this cycle of discontent that i'm in and i think this is a chance for me to experience some different things.

as long as i can afford it. and honestly i'm scared out of my noggin.

so in the meantime, i'm hanging out at home, getting some exercise and looking for some alternative ways to make some cash. i'm looking to do some free graphic design work so if you need anything or know anyone who does (thanks risa!) please send them my way.

feel free to send calming, peaceful, non-worry thoughts my way...because the bottle of rasberry vodka i bought monday night keeps calling my name.

now i just have to tell my mom. insert even bigger sigh here.

so oblivious...

i read a blog daily about a couple who is spending a 1,000 days at sea. it's fascinating to me. their drive to do this and well...i know nothing about sailing so it's fairly educational.

but i'm wondering how do things like this happen...really i want to know. we just keep living in the burbs, driving our suvs, refusing to recycle or take any responsibility for the earth and dumping crap in the ocean...it just drives me nuts. such simple little things that we refuse to do.

that's my rant. sorry.

(from Wikipedia)

The centre of the North Pacific Gyre is relatively stationary (the area it occupies is often referred to as the horse latitudes) and the circular rotation around it draws waste material in. This has led to the accumulation of flotsam and other debris in huge floating 'clouds' of waste, leading to the informal name The Great Pacific Garbage Patch or Eastern Garbage Patch. While historically this debris has biodegraded, the gyre is now accumulating vast quantities of plastic and marine debris. Rather than biodegrading, plastic photodegrades, disintegrating in the ocean into smaller and smaller pieces. These pieces, still polymers, eventually become individual molecules, which are still not easily digested.[1] The photodegraded plastic can attract pollutants such as PCBs. The floating particles also resemble zooplankton, which can lead to them being consumed by jellyfish, thus entering the ocean food chain. In samples taken from the gyre in 2001, the mass of plastic exceeded that of zooplankton (the dominant animalian life in the area) by a factor of six.

Occasionally, shifts in the ocean currents release flotsam lost from cargo ships into the currents around the North Pacific Gyre, leading to predictable patterns of garbage washing up on the shores around the outskirts of the gyre. The most famous was the loss of approximately 80,000 Nike sneakers and boots from the ship Hansa Carrier in 1990: the currents of the gyre distributed the shoes around the shores of British Columbia, Washington, Oregon, and Hawaii over the following three years. Similar cargo spills have involved tens of thousands of bathtub toys in 1992 and hockey equipment in 1994. These events have become a major source of data on global-scale ocean currents. Various institutions have asked the public to report the landfall locations of the objects (trainers, rubber ducks, etc.) that wash up as a method of tracking surface waters' response to the deeper ocean currents. [2]

For several years ocean researcher Charles Moore has been investigating a concentration of floating plastic debris in the North Pacific Gyre. His study indicates that ocean currents have added to the mass until it is now about the size of Texas. Many of these long-lasting pieces wind up in the stomachs of marine birds and animals.[3]

winter...

dear winter. please come for a visit.

the ragweed is about to kill me. tissues are my constant companion. i promise not to whine while you're here.

you might be an okie if...

tonight i was reading through the gazette and there was a tidbit about a blog that has completed a list titled the top 100 oklahoma embarrassments. and since toby keith was #1 and the blog was titled the lost ogle i knew i needed to check it out. and well i'm sharing because if you are a native to the "city," i think you will chuckle too.

but it also just reminded me of those "you might be an okie lists" that bring me a strange sense of warm fuzziness and also horrible embarrassment.

1. It doesn't bother you one bit to use airports named for two men who died in the same grisly plane crash.

2. You can properly pronounce all of the following, and without laughing: Eufaula, Muskogee, Pushmataha, Sapulpa, Okemah, Tishomingo, and Chickasha.

3. You know that the true value of a parking space is determined not by the distance to the door, but rather by the availability of shade.

4. You readily understand the difference between 3.2 and 6.0 beer, and know what a "beer run" to another state is.

5. A tornado siren is not cause for alarm, but is usually just your signal to go out in the yard and look for the funnel. (Fun for the whole family.)

6. You are Okie if you've ever had this conversation with a friend:
"Ya wanna coke?"
"Sure."
"What kind ya want?"
"Dr. Pepper."

7. You've used at least four of the following words/expressions in daily conversation:

reckon
plumb e.g., "plumb stove up," "plumb tired," etc.
Howdy"
I swar instead of "I swear"
fixin' to instead of "preparing to"
chat instead of gravel

8. You understand at least five of the following concepts and expressions:

Dry county
The B.C. Clark Christmas jingle
"Once saved, always saved"
"Useless as tits on a boar hog."
"Go Sooners"
"Shoot far (fire) and save the matches"
Liquor-by-the-drink
Vacation Bible School
"Peppered cream gravy on everything, please Ma'am"
Just open all the windows and get in the bathtub.

9. You can identify at least five varieties of venomous snakes on sight.

10. You understand that Oklahoma is a Southern, Southwestern, and Midwestern state - all at once. This is not a contradiction in your mind.

11. The local paper quickly covers national and international headlines on the front page, but requires six pages for sports and two pages for local church news.

12. You know more than one woman who consulted an O.U. football schedule to plan her wedding date.

13.You don't find it the least bit odd to find "chicken fried chicken" on a menu.

14. You know the difference between "Durant" and "Doorant," and you always know which state has a "Mia-muh," and which one has a "Mia-mee."

15. You remember the profligate wealth of the Oil Boom, and you fervently pray for those days to return.

16. A BMW is not nearly the status symbol that a Ford F150 4x4 is.

17. You don't find it in the least bit odd to find video rentals, ammunition, and live bait all at the same convenience store.

18. You know all four seasons by heart: Tornado, Summer, Still Summer, Christmas.

19. You know exactly what calf fries and mountain oysters are, but you eat them anyway.

20. You can't always remember which year your Mama was born, but you can rattle off the years of the national championships OU won in your lifetime lickety-split.

happy weekending.

my new guilty pleasure...

it's a small world afterall...

so i'm slowly settling into my new job. and the weird thing is that my first month was pretty good and the last few weeks have been pretty rough. which is usually the opposite. anyway, i've come the conclusion that my bosses are possibly crazy and a psychologist's dreams patients. there's bitterness, narciscism, control issues, trust issues, and ADD...oh and a little baptist thrown in. but really i enjoy about 75% of the job and the other 25% has just been stressing me out but i'm dealing. living life not taking things personally is very difficult for me but i think this job will help me learn this lesson.

but all this new small office talk has me thinking about my past small office jobs. keep in mind, i generally like small business (generally family owned). they are friendly, you get to be in the everyday workings of the office, it's more hands on, there's free lunches, bonuses...and you don't get lost in your department. but i've always said small businesses can be very good to you and just as bad.

here's a sampling of some bad stories from my small office jobs -

ordering the bosses wife flowers at 11am on valentine's day and having to deliver them personally because he forgot.

being harrassed by the bosses wife about how i wasn't take good care of the office plants.

going to an office christmas party at the bosses house and being sat at the kid's table (i was probably around 23).

being told to clean out the company refrigerator on christmas eve. and then not being told that i could leave early when everyone else had.

being asked to clean out the library for a meeting and then being fired a few minutes later in the clean library.

i didn't have to do this but a co-worker had to pick up hair gel once for our boss.

these are such bad stories...i need some good ones next time because i'm really starting to doubt my feelings for small offices.

...did i mention bonuses and free food?

how in the world...

can such beautiful people exist...together?

more acl...

i thought it might be nice to provide you with clips of some of the bands we saw at acl...maybe you will find something pleasing to the ear.

the decemberists



regina specktor (this was a huge crowd)



muse



pete yorn (i thought i was going to pass out during this set and had to retreat to the back...i love pete yorn and still am sad.)



lcd soundsystem (same song, two different perspectives)

tgif...

this has been a long week. we made it back to town on monday late afternoon and i'm not sure i've recovered from my vacation. yes, i will drop the cliche...i really need a vacation to recover from my vacation.

the festival was great. an experience that left me somewhere between "oh my gosh it's so hot and dirty and i never, ever want to do this again" and "this is one of the best experiences ever, i want to do it every year" - it was hot, humid and crowded but there is just something surreal about getting into a great band with about 60,000 other sweaty people.

austin is really just a unique city in itself...it's this weird hotbed of liberals in the middle of texas. bizarre really. everyone was very well behaved. there were very few cops. i saw multiple people smoking pot. a few gay folks.

it was a good time and i hope we go back next year. e posted a blog about our experience on myspace and i thought i would share it. and i barely proof my own stuff so i'm not even going to try and proof his...sorry.

____________

The White Stripes missed a HOT party...

I am back from ACL, and boy are my arms tired. No really, they are kind of sore from holding them over my head and clapping for bands... (bands at festivals love to make you clap over your head... I learned this the hard way.)

So, i had a Great time at ACL, even though the White stips didn't make it. That dog-gone Meg had to go and have a nervous breakdown or something.

I saw a lot of great bands, not so great bands, and mediocore bands. I ate a lot of organic junk food, drank more water than anyone should in Three days... and I only pisssed once a day... Odd... Let me just say this, Hot + no shade = no pissing out your water.

I also saw some strange things like Mary J (not the black singer chick),you know a blunt, or doobie, or weed. I saw a lot of girl on girl make out, a little boy brokeback action, a girl with armpit hair selling some great organic root beer. A lot of cleavage, a lot of over dressed, under dressed, and oddly dressed people. It was a good time.

Being at a festival is like having an ipod for live bands. If someting isn't grabbing you hen you can just flip on over to another stage.

This is how my three days breaks down in partial and full sets of music:

Friday: starting at 12:30 ish

The Gospel Silvertones (Fun Gospel band)
Pete Yorn (Full Set - Great show. A fire was going on about 100 away
Blonde Redhead (odd band)
Crowded House (Most of their set)
LCD Soundsystem (GREAT band. Didn't know them. Now, I am fan!)
M.I.A (chick rap - thumbs down)
Spoon (good tunes - boring live)
Queens of the stone age ( great band - a lot of fun!)
Kaiser cheifs (brit punk band --- OK)
Gotan Project - (very strange french music)
Bjork (odd lady - kind of boring)
Killers (just kind of boring)

Saturday starting at 1:30 ish

the sippy cups (is austin Kiddie limits - kid band complete with juggler)
Augustana - (Great live band! too short of set played a lot of new tunes)
cold war kids
blue october
Butch Walker and the let's go out tonights (Great stuff! one of the best of the fest!)
Clap your hands say yeah
indigo girls
MUSE (AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Sunday starting around 4pm

Bloc Party (good live band from UK)
Regina Spektor (oddly annoying she is a GILP "girl I'd like to punch"
wilco
My morning Jacket
The Decemberists (good live band!)
Bob Dylan (horrible horrible horrible... I am still not sure what he was saying and why over 65,000 people were there watching him talk like scooby Doos and Luie armstrong's love child)

So anyway, I had a great time.
________________

we didn't take a ton of pictures but here's a sampling...












well that's enough of that. my tired soul needs some sleep. if you're lucky i'll be back this weekend to re-cap our annual pilgrimage to the great state fair of oklahoma (i still sing that song in my head) and why i urgently think my boss is crazy.

happy weekending.

p.s. i'm going to make an effort to start the photoblog again...thanks for the harassment everyone.

oh sweet internet...

it's so good to have you back.

we've been internet-less for four days and it's amazing how dependent i am on it. now i can plan my trip, get directions, check the weather, pay some bills, check some ww points, watch britney dance...how did i make it so long?

we are heading out of town tomorrow for acl and i'm sooooooo pumped. the thought of taking a highway out of this city right now makes me giddy. just plain giddy.

in case my mom asks...

this is what i want for christmas...

and one of these...

and since your talking to her...one of these would be awesome and she would win "mom of the year."









oh and another blogging site because the formating in blogger sucks!

so yeah...i'm just barely hanging on.

approximately a week ago i fell off the wagon...and well i'm still trying to catch up but that's about it. i'm not doing completely horrible, probably just enough to not gain anything which i have to remind myself is a good thing.

no gain. no pain. just the same ill fitting clothes.

some good news. i went to see my blood specialist today and all is good. i don't have to give blood for 3 months. woo-hoo. i see him again in january and he will decide what my plan of action should be.

my veins are relieved.

today i saw some of my old co-workers. i miss them and i think they miss me too. it was nice.

acl is in a week. i'm getting excited. excited to get away. excited to spend some fun time with e. excited to see family and bob dylan.

belated weekend update...