you might be an okie if...

tonight i was reading through the gazette and there was a tidbit about a blog that has completed a list titled the top 100 oklahoma embarrassments. and since toby keith was #1 and the blog was titled the lost ogle i knew i needed to check it out. and well i'm sharing because if you are a native to the "city," i think you will chuckle too.

but it also just reminded me of those "you might be an okie lists" that bring me a strange sense of warm fuzziness and also horrible embarrassment.

1. It doesn't bother you one bit to use airports named for two men who died in the same grisly plane crash.

2. You can properly pronounce all of the following, and without laughing: Eufaula, Muskogee, Pushmataha, Sapulpa, Okemah, Tishomingo, and Chickasha.

3. You know that the true value of a parking space is determined not by the distance to the door, but rather by the availability of shade.

4. You readily understand the difference between 3.2 and 6.0 beer, and know what a "beer run" to another state is.

5. A tornado siren is not cause for alarm, but is usually just your signal to go out in the yard and look for the funnel. (Fun for the whole family.)

6. You are Okie if you've ever had this conversation with a friend:
"Ya wanna coke?"
"Sure."
"What kind ya want?"
"Dr. Pepper."

7. You've used at least four of the following words/expressions in daily conversation:

reckon
plumb e.g., "plumb stove up," "plumb tired," etc.
Howdy"
I swar instead of "I swear"
fixin' to instead of "preparing to"
chat instead of gravel

8. You understand at least five of the following concepts and expressions:

Dry county
The B.C. Clark Christmas jingle
"Once saved, always saved"
"Useless as tits on a boar hog."
"Go Sooners"
"Shoot far (fire) and save the matches"
Liquor-by-the-drink
Vacation Bible School
"Peppered cream gravy on everything, please Ma'am"
Just open all the windows and get in the bathtub.

9. You can identify at least five varieties of venomous snakes on sight.

10. You understand that Oklahoma is a Southern, Southwestern, and Midwestern state - all at once. This is not a contradiction in your mind.

11. The local paper quickly covers national and international headlines on the front page, but requires six pages for sports and two pages for local church news.

12. You know more than one woman who consulted an O.U. football schedule to plan her wedding date.

13.You don't find it the least bit odd to find "chicken fried chicken" on a menu.

14. You know the difference between "Durant" and "Doorant," and you always know which state has a "Mia-muh," and which one has a "Mia-mee."

15. You remember the profligate wealth of the Oil Boom, and you fervently pray for those days to return.

16. A BMW is not nearly the status symbol that a Ford F150 4x4 is.

17. You don't find it in the least bit odd to find video rentals, ammunition, and live bait all at the same convenience store.

18. You know all four seasons by heart: Tornado, Summer, Still Summer, Christmas.

19. You know exactly what calf fries and mountain oysters are, but you eat them anyway.

20. You can't always remember which year your Mama was born, but you can rattle off the years of the national championships OU won in your lifetime lickety-split.

happy weekending.