seriously...

(to myself. yes, i talk to myself often) are you running a half-marathon in april? because your commitment level has dropped dramtically in the last two weeks and you are only 4 weeks in? i would say your level of commitment on a 1-10 scale is about 2. and you only get 2 points because you're at least thinking about it not because you're doing anything constructive.

ok, ok so it has been a rough two weeks - actually only a week and half - and up until then i was super exercise woman. i'm thinking that i need to go ahead and register for the half-marathon then it will be a "you've signed up, no backing out" deal. i'm going to tell a she needs to do this too. maybe it will provide us with incentive. regardless i am letting myself down. i hate letting myself down but yet i do it often...see previous post titled "why do i do the things i do."

i have a crazy busy week coming up. this job is seriously wearing me out. i go back and forth, it's me, it's my boss, it's the job itself regardless i am worrying a lot and feeling very inadequate and it's not that hard of a job. so i'm blaming my boss but really that only goes so far because in the end i have to go to work, accomplish tasks and live with myself. so at some point i'm going to have to settle into the dysfunction or move on. and i really don't want to move on...i just got there and have only officially acquired 10 hours of my 3 weeks of leave.

i found this image* while randomly searching for a photo to depict my new government-esque job. while this does not really capture my job, i thought it was a fabulous photo and i could only hope to be this fashionable in my cubicle.

*the girl with a government job february 1942
by louise dahl-wolfe