e and i had to do a little shopping last night - christmas is upon us. i like many of you are are desperately trying to find the good things in this crazy holiday. i'm trying to pace myself, not stress out and avoid becoming angered by the pressure of it all. i hate all the pressure to just buy, buy, buy. and buy something for everyone. even though you have no idea what your aunt, that you barely know, that you rarely see but are expected to give a gift to. so you buy a generic candle or picture frame that will likely end up in a box to goodwill. why? i love the idea of seeing something that says to me "yes, your grandma would love that" so you buy it and it perfectly fits that person. but that's not the way this holiday works.
i recognize the pressure is allowed by me. i fall into the ritual. i could stop it. i think to myself that i don't know how but i do. you just stop. you say "i love you" and "merry christmas" and you don't worry about what your family says. because honestly, i know they are saying bad things about me anyway. my husband is measly paid musician and i'm 31 and have no children - there is already plenty of talk.
so why do i let it happen? why do i waste the money on pointless gifts? why don't i buy homeless people socks or canned corn? poor kids won't have a christmas but my aunt and i will both gifts that we really don't like.
and then there is that jesus part which sadly i am very, very far detached from right now. so far detached that it seems almost foreign. i suppose that going to church might be a good start.
sigh. that was heavier than i meant for it to be.
i'm feeling a bit better today. i'm just really tired and i am ready for this week to be over. between travel, sickness and being back at work - i am spent.
by the way, there are more pictures to come.
i read this today and thought it was interesting and possibly the greatest invention ever.
Hewlett Packard is producing cameras that can slim the subject, negating the old "camera adds 10 pounds" rule. The slimming effect can be subtle or dramatic, depending on what the camera operator chooses.
AOL.com 11.17.06
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1 comment:
I kinda hate xmas time so I'm with you on this feeling. Generally, christmas sucks. I hate buying presents for adults. Kids are more fun. But costly.
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